Chapter 25: Alternating Self
第25章: 交替的自我
He is floating in the dark. There is no light whatsoever, no indication of where he is or how he got here. He is vaguely aware that he should be afraid, but he feels oddly calm, as if someone is using Occlumency on him and blocking off all his troubling thoughts. He reaches for his wand and, for reasons he cannot remember, is surprised to find it in his pocket.
他在黑暗中漂浮。没有任何光线，没有任何迹象表明他在哪里，或者他是怎么到这里的。他模糊地意识到他应该感到害怕，但是他感到奇怪的平静，好像有人正在对他使用大脑封闭术，阻止了他所有烦恼的想法。他伸手去拿魔杖，不知为什么，竟然在口袋里发现了魔杖。
Lumos.
荧光灯。
He casts the spell non-verbally, reluctant to break the tranquillising silence. The tip of his wand glows, revealing what appears to be a mirror before him, though its surface is dull and all he can see is the blurred outline of his face. Below the mirror is a sink with a serpent engraved on the tap. He knows at once what he has to do - though he has no idea why - and yet he finds himself hesitating. Looking up at the blurry face in the mirror again, he wonders if he really wants to see. But then, he is never one to turn away from knowledge, and the part of him that has acknowledged the need to escape already knows there is no other choice.
他用非语言的方式施展咒语，不愿打破使人镇静的沉默。他的魔杖尖发着光，露出了他面前的一面镜子，尽管它的表面很暗淡，他所能看到的只是他脸上模糊的轮廓。镜子下面是一个水槽，水龙头上刻着一条蛇。他立刻知道自己必须做什么——尽管他不知道为什么——但他发现自己犹豫不决。他再次抬头看着镜子里那张模糊的脸，不知道自己是否真的想看清楚。但是，他从来都不是一个逃避知识的人，而且他认识到需要逃避的那部分已经知道没有其他选择了。
/Open./
打开
As soon as the word leaves his mouth, he feels himself falling. The light of his wand grows brighter and brighter until all he can see is a blinding whiteness. He shields his eyes and tries his best to steady himself, then his feet touches solid ground.
这个词一出口，他就感到自己跌倒了。他的魔杖发出的光越来越亮，直到他只能看到一片刺眼的白色。他用盾牌挡住眼睛，尽力使自己站稳，然后双脚接触坚实的地面。
He has landed, it appears, in the middle of utter chaos. People are fleeing. The shops on the sides of the road are in flame. The lampposts are skewed, bending at odd angles with a rope hanging down each of them. Tied to the other end of the rope is a rabbit, dangling in mid-air under the extinguished light. There must be over a dozen of them, some are already dead, some are still struggling for breath. But the most peculiar is the sky. It is cloudy and grey with a jagged black crack running its length, as if someone has ripped it into two. Several thin threads remain, holding the broken halves of the sky together like poorly placed stitches in a wound that would not close.
看起来，他降落在一片混乱之中。人们都在逃跑。路边的商店着火了。路灯柱是倾斜的，每根路灯柱上都挂着一根绳子，以奇怪的角度弯曲。在绳子的另一端绑着一只兔子，在熄灭的灯光下悬在半空中。肯定有十几个，有些已经死了，有些还在挣扎呼吸。但最奇特的是天空。它浑浊而灰暗，一条锯齿状的黑色裂缝延伸着它的长度，好像有人把它撕成了两半。一些细线仍然存在，把破碎的半边天空连在一起，就像一个不能缝合的伤口上不合适的缝合线。
The ground tremors with every several steps he takes, not enough to knock him off balance, but a clear indication that something is very wrong. With no other option, he continues forward, sidestepping the rubble and overturned cars and staying clear of the fire. A woman drops on her knees as he passes by. A man grabs the hand of a child and runs away. Another woman screams and ducks back into a burning house. They are running from him, he realises, but he has no intention to cause harm.
他每走几步，地面就会震动一下，虽然不足以让他失去平衡，但这清楚地表明，事情非常不对劲。别无选择，他继续前进，避开瓦砾和翻倒的汽车，远离大火。他经过时，一个女人跪在地上。一个男人抓住一个孩子的手就跑了。另一个女人尖叫着躲回着火的房子里。他意识到，他们是在躲避他，但他无意造成伤害。
Or does he?
是吗？
Did he?
是吗？
Part of him has registered the fact that this is a dream, and dreams are often based on memories. He is starting to remember more now, whereas everything was hazy before. He recognises the sink he just saw as the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, though this place is clearly not it. He can also tell that the dead rabbit hanging from the lamppost is the one from the orphanage, the one he killed. He remembers his childhood, his discovery of magic, his time at Hogwarts, up to the point when he opened the Chamber. What happened afterwards?
他的一部分已经注意到这是一个梦的事实，而梦通常是建立在记忆的基础上的。他现在开始记得更多了，而以前的一切都是模糊的。他认出了刚才看到的水槽是密室的入口，尽管这里显然不是。他还能分辨出挂在灯柱上的死兔子就是孤儿院的那只，被他杀死的那只。他记得他的童年，他对魔法的发现，他在霍格沃茨的时光，直到他打开密室。之后发生了什么？
A startled cry from behind makes him turn. It is a small girl, no more than ten and in muggle clothes, edging away from him. There is a smudge of soot on her cheek; no doubt she has been running from the fire. She looks up as he walks closer, her eyes widening. Before he realises what is happening, he has lifted his wand.
一声惊叫从后面传来，使他转过身来。那是一个小女孩，不到十岁，穿着麻瓜的衣服，慢慢地从他身边走开。她的脸颊上有一块烟灰，毫无疑问，她一直在逃避火灾。当他走近时，她抬起头，睁大了眼睛。在他意识到发生了什么之前，他已经举起了他的魔杖。
"Avada Kedavra."
阿瓦达索命
The words roll off his tongue easily, almost without thought, and yet the green light makes him recoil. The girl hits the ground soundlessly, her eyes unseeing. Then he hears several pop sounds and a group of cloaked figures with white masks Apparate before him. They kneel and bow their heads.
这些话从他的舌头上轻而易举地脱口而出，几乎没有经过思考，然而绿光却使他畏缩不前。女孩无声无息地落在地上，眼睛什么也看不见。然后他听到了几声流行音乐，一群戴着白色面具的披着斗篷的人影出现在他面前。他们跪下，低下头。
"My lord," a few of them murmur.
“我的主人,”他们中的一些人喃喃地说。
The satisfaction that comes with the address clashes with confusion. Unsure of what to do, he takes a step forward. Half of them cower. The one closest to him looks up, waiting for his order.
地址带来的满足感与困惑相冲突。不知道该怎么办，他向前走了一步。一半的人都退缩了。离他最近的那个抬起头，等待他的命令。
Yes, he is their leader, isn't he?
是的，他是他们的领袖，不是吗？
The ground shakes again. Someone screams. The sound of an explosion comes from a distance. He looks around at the burning town again. There are bodies everywhere. Men. Women. Children. Pillars of black smoke are still rising. The houses are beyond repair. All these were done by the group gathered before him, by his order.
地面再次震动。有人在尖叫。爆炸声从远处传来。他又环顾四周，看着燃烧的城镇。到处都是尸体。男人。女人。孩子们。黑烟柱仍在上升。这些房子无法修理。所有这些都是由聚集在他面前的一群人按照他的命令完成的。
"That's not you."
“那不是你”
Lucius Malfoy emerges from a side street. More people follow. Wizards. Witches. All of them are Slytherins. His students.
卢修斯 · 马尔福从一条小街上走出来。更多的人跟着他。巫师。女巫。他们都是斯莱特林的学生。
Students?
学生？
"Why are you here?" he hears himself asking.
“你为什么在这里?”他听到自己在问。
"To stop you from acting like an idiot, of course," says Lucius. "Honestly, as if getting yourself bitten by a snake is not enough, you have to go and let that monster's memory wreck havoc in your mind."
“当然是为了防止你表现得像个白痴,”卢修斯说。“老实说，好像被蛇咬还不够似的，你必须离开，让那个怪物的记忆在你的脑海中肆虐。”
"Naturally, we come to the rescue." Avery grins, clearly excited. "And don't bother telling us to leave, professor. You taught us better than that."
“当然，我们是来救援的。”艾弗里笑了，显然很兴奋。”不用麻烦让我们离开，教授。你教会了我们更多”
"Be ambitious, but not without rules, right, Tom?" Rodolphus glances at the body of the child, then back at him. "Looks like you've forgotten one of yours."
“要有野心，但不能没有规则，对吧，汤姆?”罗多弗斯瞥了一眼孩子的身体，然后又回头看了看他。“看来你忘了一个”
"And you're not getting rid of us until you remember it," finishes Mulciber.
“除非你想起来，否则你别想摆脱我们,”穆尔西伯最后说。
That is right. He has promised not to kill, hasn't he? But the one who made that promise does not have servants. The one who made that promise is weak and is so afraid of himself that he hides inside a school for decades, willingly submitting himself to someone who will never understand the extent of his sacrifice.
没错。他已经答应不杀人了，不是吗？但那个许下承诺的人没有仆人。作出这个承诺的人是软弱的，他非常害怕自己，以至于他躲在一所学校里几十年，心甘情愿地把自己交给一个永远不会理解他的牺牲有多大的人。
"You call these 'sacrifice'?" Avery scoffs, motioning to the Death Eaters. "I'd say good riddance."
“你们把这些叫做‘牺牲’?”艾弗里嘲笑道，指着食死徒说，“我觉得这是一个很好的解脱。”
The insult brings the Death Eaters to their feet. It is hard to tell who shoots the first spell, but soon the two groups are exchanging curses. They appear to favour different styles. The Death Eaters' attacks are more aggressive and deadly, aiming to maim or kill. The unmasked versions of themselves opt to fight with their brains, piercing their opponents defences with well-placed curses. Neither side manages to gain the upper hand, but it is to be expected, isn't it? This is his dream, after all. The outcome of this battle is his to decide.
这种侮辱使食死徒站了起来。很难说是谁射出了第一个咒语，但很快这两个小组就互相咒骂起来。他们似乎喜欢不同的风格。食死徒的攻击更具攻击性和致命性，目的是致残或杀死。那些没有戴面具的自己选择用大脑进行战斗，用恰到好处的诅咒刺穿对手的防御。双方都没有占上风，但这是意料之中的，不是吗？毕竟这是他的梦想。这场战斗的结果由他来决定。
Two possibilities. Two realities. Which one is his?
两种可能，两个现实，哪个是他的？
This situation is supposed to be impossible. No one calls him 'professor' in the world where he became a dark lord. And in the world where he has stayed at Hogwarts to teach, he does not have any followers. But here he is, once again standing at the crossroad.
这种情况应该是不可能的。在他成为黑暗领主的世界里，没有人叫他“教授”。在他留在霍格沃茨教书的世界里，他没有任何追随者。但现在他又站在了十字路口。
"Crossroad? Come on, professor, don't tell me you're actually considering snake-face's path."
“十字路口? 得了吧，教授，别告诉我你真的在考虑蛇脸的路线”
"Get a grip, Tom. You are the one in control, not that monster."
“冷静点，汤姆，你才是掌控一切的人，不是那个怪物”
To destroy or to protect. To rise above the others or to hide among the mundane and restrain himself at every step. To conquer death and become a monster or to accept it and save his soul.
破坏或保护。凌驾于他人之上，或者隐藏在世俗之中，每一步都克制自己。征服死亡，变成怪物或者接受死亡，拯救他的灵魂。
But he has found another solution, hasn't he? There are two identical souls in this world, and as long as he stays here, he will not die. He doesn't have to be afraid of what is waiting for him after death. He doesn't have to hide his true nature. He doesn't have to keep on pretending.
但他找到了另一个解决办法，不是吗？这个世界上有两个完全相同的灵魂，只要他留在这里，他就不会死。他不必害怕死后等待着他的东西。他没必要隐藏自己的本性。他没必要一直假装。
"I think we all agree that raw power means nothing when you're barely human yourself."
“我想我们都同意，当你自己都不是人的时候，原始的力量毫无意义。”
"What's the appeal of all these destructions anyway? Building things are much more satisfying than destroying them, don't you think?"
“所有这些破坏到底有什么吸引力? 建造东西比摧毁它们更令人满足，你不觉得吗?”
"And we could really use a little help here, professor, if you don't mind?"
“如果你不介意的话，教授，我们真的需要一点帮助”
"Oh please, Crabbe, we can handle this."
“哦，拜托，Crabbe，我们能处理好的。”
"Well, Tom?" Lucius' impatient voice cuts over the incessant chatter.
“怎么样，汤姆?”卢修斯不耐烦的声音打断了喋喋不休的谈话。
The earth gives another heave. Tom's mind is screaming for him to choose, to settle on a version of himself before this dream-like world crumbles under the strain of the conflicting memories. With his students bantering around him, the choice is surprisingly easy to make and he wonders what has taken him so long.
大地再次隆起。汤姆的大脑在呼唤他做出选择，在这个梦一般的世界在冲突的记忆压力下崩溃之前，选择一个自己的版本。当他的学生在他周围开玩笑的时候，这个选择出奇的容易，他想知道是什么让他花了这么长时间。
"Admit it, professor, you need us."
“承认吧，教授，你需要我们”
His glare is useless, as always. "Go on then, take care of them."
他的目光一如既往地毫无用处，“去吧，照顾好他们。”
He stands back as his students fight. It is taking a while, but the winning side is clear now. Then again, this is just a dream.
当他的学生打架时，他向后退。这需要一段时间，但胜利的一方现在是明确的。话说回来，这只是个梦。
"Ah, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it?"
“啊，但这并不会让它变得不真实，不是吗?”
Tom glances sideway at Albus, who has appeared out of nowhere. "I take it this is what you were counting on when you put me in charge of Slytherin?"
汤姆斜眼瞥了一眼不知从哪儿冒出来的阿不思。“我想这就是你让我负责斯莱特林的原因吧?”
The old wizard merely smiles.
老巫师只是微笑。
"What exactly is this place anyway? What is happening?"
“这到底是什么地方? 发生了什么事?”
Albus lets out a sigh, his smile dropping. "Nagini was a Horcrux. When she bit you, you came into direct contact with the piece of soul she carried. This is the result of the merge."
阿不思叹了口气，脸上的笑容消失了。纳吉尼是魂器。当她咬你的时候，你直接接触到了她所携带的灵魂。这是合并的结果。”
"Merge," Tom repeats, not liking the sound of it at all. "I... absorbed a piece of Voldemort's soul, then?"
“合并,”汤姆重复道，一点也不喜欢这个声音。“我... ... 吸收了伏地魔的一部分灵魂，然后呢?”
Albus nods. "Your soul yearns to be complete and calls out to your counterpart's Horcruxes. That's why you were able to tell when one of them was destroyed and why your scar opened when you were near one - your soul was trying to absorb the other pieces."
阿不思点点头。“你的灵魂渴望完整，并呼唤你对手的魂器。这就是为什么你能够分辨出其中一块碎片是什么时候被毁掉的，也是为什么当你靠近其中一块碎片时，你的伤疤会裂开——你的灵魂正试图吸收其他碎片。”
A sudden realisation dawns on Tom. "That's the reason I was able to sense the connections between our world and the others."
汤姆突然意识到。“这就是为什么我能够感觉到我们的世界与其他世界之间的联系。”
"And the reason you decided to start this project on alternate worlds in the first place." Albus smiles. "It's funny how everything comes full circle, isn't it?"
“也是你最初决定开始研究平行世界的原因”阿不思笑了。“有趣的是，一切都绕了个大圈，不是吗?”
Tom is not in the mood to find anything funny, not when a piece of his counterpart's soul is inside him and he has just gained an additional set of memories.
汤姆没有心情去寻找任何有趣的东西，尤其是当他的对手的灵魂在他体内，而他刚刚获得了一套额外的记忆时。
"I don't suppose I can just reject it, can I?"
“我不认为我可以拒绝它，是吗?”
"Not unless you want to make a Horcrux, no."
“除非你想制造魂器，否则不行”
"As if I can make one even if I want to," he murmurs.
“好像我想做也能做一样,”他低声说。
At least he isn't in any danger of losing control over Voldemort's memory anymore, he thinks as he watches his students stun the last of the Death Eaters and levitate them away. Already he can feel the foreign memories settling in a distant corner of his mind.
至少他不会再有失去对伏地魔记忆的控制的危险了，他看着他的学生把最后一个食死徒击晕，然后把他们飘走。他已经能够感觉到那些陌生的记忆停留在他脑海中一个遥远的角落。
"What now?" he asks.
“现在怎么办?”他问。
"You have regained control and this place is no longer in danger of collapsing." Albus looks up at the sky, where the large crack is still present. "But as with all magic of this nature, merely wanting to be whole isn't enough."
“你们已经重新获得了控制权，这个地方不再面临崩溃的危险。”阿不思仰望天空，那里仍然有一条大裂缝。“但是就像所有这种魔法一样，仅仅想要完整是不够的。”
"I have to mean it."
“我必须是认真的”
Albus nods, looking him in the eyes. "Remorse, Tom."
阿不思点点头，看着他的眼睛。“悔恨，汤姆。”
"Of course." Tom sighs. "And should I... fail? What then?" He would rather not be stuck in this place forever.
“当然。”汤姆叹了口气。“那我... ... 会失败吗? 然后呢?”他宁愿不要永远困在这个地方。
"I'm afraid I only know as much as you do, my boy. But as always, I have faith in you."
“恐怕我知道的和你一样多，我的孩子。但是一如既往，我对你有信心。”
With that, Albus vanishes, along with the burning town and the body of the child. All that is left is the road Tom is on, illuminated by the faint glow of his wand. He starts forward, only to stop again when a tall stone wall rises from the ground, blocking his way. As he watches, a barred door appears. He recognises it at once; it is the door of his cell in Azkaban, the one he has spent seven years staring at. Behind the metal bars is a staircase, leading downwards to the darkness below. He takes a moment to steady himself, then pulls the door open and starts descending.
就这样，阿不思消失了，随之消失的还有燃烧的城镇和孩子的尸体。剩下的只有汤姆所走的路，被他的魔杖发出的微弱光芒照亮。他开始向前走，但是当一堵高高的石墙从地上升起，挡住了他的去路时，他又停了下来。就在他看着的时候，一扇有栅栏的门出现了。他一眼就认出来了，这是他在阿兹卡班的牢房门，他已经盯着这扇门看了七年。金属栏杆后面是一个楼梯，通向下面的黑暗。他花了一点时间稳住自己，然后拉开门，开始下降。
Chapter 23: Planning Ahead
第23章: 未雨绸缪
Severus staggered towards Hogwarts, still shaking from the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse. Even when he reached the entrance doors of the old castle, the Dark Lord's cold hissing voice was still echoing in his mind.
西弗勒斯摇摇晃晃地走向霍格沃茨，仍然因为钻心咒的后遗症而浑身发抖。甚至当他走到古堡的大门口时，黑魔王冰冷的嘶嘶声仍然在他的脑海中回响。
Draco Malfoy had somehow come to the realization that he couldn't possibly kill Dumbledore and had decided to bargain with the Dark Lord. Instead of bringing him Dumbledore's head, Draco would bring him Thomas Kray, who all Death Eaters had been told to capture on sight.
德拉科 · 马尔福不知怎么地意识到他不可能杀死邓布利多，于是决定与黑魔王讨价还价。德拉科没有把邓布利多的头带给他，而是把托马斯 · 克雷带给了他，所有食死徒都被告知一见到他就要抓住他。
Draco didn't know that this alternative mission was equally impossible, considering who Kray really was, but the Dark Lord was well aware that the boy would not be successful. Nonetheless the Dark Lord had agreed to Draco's bargain, knowing that Severus would be forced to complete the boy's task. No doubt Bellatrix had told the Dark Lord all about the Unbreakable Vow Severus had made during the summer.
德拉科不知道这个替代任务同样是不可能的，考虑到克雷的真实身份，但黑魔王很清楚这个男孩不会成功。尽管如此，黑魔王还是同意了德拉科的交易，因为他知道西弗勒斯将被迫完成这个男孩的任务。毫无疑问，贝拉特里克斯已经把西弗勒斯在夏天发下的牢不可破的誓言告诉了黑魔王。
"I have given young Malfoy a week into the coming school term to complete his new mission. If he fails, there will be consequences." There was a brief pause. "But we don't want that, do we, Severus?"
“在即将到来的学期里，我给了年轻的马尔福一周时间来完成他的新使命。如果他失败了，后果自负。”有一个短暂的停顿。“但我们不想那样，对吧，西弗勒斯?”
Now that he was away from the Dark Lord, the anger that he had suppressed in the meeting was coursing through him. That fool! How na?ve could that boy be? Bargaining with the Dark Lord?
现在他离开了黑魔王，他在会议中压抑的愤怒在他心中蔓延。那个傻瓜！那孩子怎么这么天真？和黑魔王讨价还价？
The Dark Lord had essentially threatened Severus, not Draco, with death should he fail to deliver Kray within the time limit. Was it simply an indication of the Dark Lord's desperation? Or was it a sign of the Dark Lord's suspicion over Severus' loyalty? After all, Severus was the one who had been ordered to capture Kray before Christmas and failed to complete the mission. He was also the one who told Dumbledore that Bellatrix had retrieved Hufflepuff's Cup from her vault.
黑魔王基本上是在威胁西弗勒斯，而不是德拉科，如果他不能在时限内交出克雷，他就会死。这只是黑魔王绝望的表现吗？还是黑魔王怀疑西弗勒斯的忠诚？毕竟，是西弗勒斯奉命在圣诞节前抓捕克雷，却没能完成任务。也是他告诉邓布利多贝拉特里克斯从她的金库里拿回了赫奇帕奇之杯。
Or was it something else? Something that made the Dark Lord believe Severus might not give his best to complete the mission?
还是别的什么？让黑魔王相信西弗勒斯不会尽全力完成任务？
Kray's voice drifted into Severus' mind, "I'm not from this world, and I certainly do not need a follower."
克雷的声音飘进西弗勒斯的脑海，“我不是这个世界的人，我当然也不需要一个追随者。”
Severus pushed that thought away. There's no point distracting himself with what Kray had said. He had enough to deal with as it was.
西弗勒斯把这个想法推开了。没有必要用克雷说的话来分散自己的注意力。他已经有够多事要处理了。
He walked up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing, intending to check on Dumbledore before going back to his room, where he had stored some potions for the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse.
他走上楼梯，向医院走去，打算先看看邓布利多的情况，然后再回到自己的房间。
He should have known his long night was far from over.
他应该知道漫长的一夜还远远没有结束。
Entering the Hospital Wing, Severus found the last person he wanted to see lounging in a chair beside Dumbledore's bed. Kray waved his hand and the door shut behind Severus.
走进医院大楼，西弗勒斯发现他最不想看到的人躺在邓布利多床边的椅子上。克雷挥了挥手，门在西弗勒斯身后关上了。
"What did he want?"
“他想要什么?”
"What else could he have wanted, Riddle?" Severus snarled.
“他还能要什么呢，里德尔?”西弗勒斯咆哮道。
"In a bad mood, aren't we?" Kray smirked. "How long did he put you under? Five minutes?"
“我们心情不好，不是吗?”克雷得意地笑道。“他让你昏迷了多久? 五分钟?”
Severus narrowed his eyes. "At least twenty," he gritted out.
西弗勒斯眯起眼睛。“至少二十个。”他咬紧牙关说。
For a brief moment Kray looked surprised. Then he took out something from his pocket and held it out. "Half a vial should be enough."
有那么一会儿，克雷看上去很惊讶。然后他从口袋里掏出一样东西，拿了出来。“半瓶就够了”
Severus took the vial cautiously and examined the deep green potion inside. He uncorked the vial and sniffed at its contents. It was the pain reliever for the Cruciatus Curse. Severus was the one who invented it, and he had never shared the brewing instructions with anyone.
西弗勒斯小心翼翼地拿起药瓶，检查里面的深绿色药水。他打开瓶塞，闻了闻里面的东西。那是钻心咒的止痛药。这是西弗勒斯发明的，他从来没有和任何人分享过酿造指南。
"I see you recognize this potion," said Kray, eyeing Severus curiously. "A student of mine invented it seven years ago."
“我看你认得这种药水,”克雷说，好奇地打量着西弗勒斯。“我的一个学生七年前发明的。”
Severus invented it shortly after his graduation. "Who?"
西弗勒斯毕业后不久就发明了它。“谁?”
"He was never born in this world," said Kray after a long pause. He motioned to the vial. "Drink it."
“他从来没有出生在这个世界上,”克雷沉默了很长时间后说。他指了指药瓶。“喝了它。”
It was a command and Severus found himself doing as Kray said. The cool liquid washed away most of his pain and relaxed his trembling muscles. It also left a bitter aftertaste that was annoyingly fitting to how he felt about his current situation.
这是一个命令，西弗勒斯发现自己照着克雷说的做了。凉爽的液体洗去了他大部分的疼痛，放松了他颤抖的肌肉。这也留下了一种苦涩的回味，与他对自己目前处境的感受相吻合，令人恼火。
Looking up, he saw Kray eyeing him with clear amusement. "How obedient," he said. "Albus and my counterpart have trained you well. Well enough to endure torture for failing a mission that you couldn't possibly complete without my cooperation."
他抬起头来，看见克雷用一种明显的好笑的目光看着他。“真听话,”他说。“阿不思和我的对手把你训练得很好。好到可以忍受没有我的合作，你不可能完成的任务的折磨
Years of dealing with Dumbledore and the Dark Lord helped Severus to control his annoyance and focus on the matter at hand. "You talk as if you've changed your mind."
多年来与邓布利多和黑魔王打交道，帮助西弗勒斯控制住了自己的烦恼，把注意力集中在手头的事情上。“你说得好像你改变主意了”
"It's about time for the long overdue meeting, don't you agree, Severus?"
“早该开会了，不是吗，西弗勒斯?”
Severus was certain that Dumbledore would not agree, but it was his own life on the line. And while Severus had no wish to tell Kray about the Unbreakable Vow, he would rather not be killed for an unnecessary charade.
西弗勒斯确信邓布利多不会同意的，但这是他自己的生命危在旦夕。虽然西弗勒斯不想把牢不可破的誓言告诉克雷，但他也不想因为一个不必要的猜谜游戏而被杀。
"I assume you're still the one in charge of my… capture?" Kray continued. "How much longer has he given you?"
“我想你还是负责我的... ... 抓捕行动的那个人吧?”克雷继续说道。“他还给了你多长时间?”
"One week after school resumes."
“开学一周后”
Kray appeared to be deep in thought and Severus wondered what he was planning.
克雷似乎陷入了沉思，西弗勒斯不知道他在计划什么。
"I'm sure Albus will have come up with a plan by then."
“我肯定阿不思到时候会想出一个计划的。”
Caught off guard, Severus could only stare as the older wizard turned towards Dumbledore's bed. He could have sworn Kray was smirking.
西弗勒斯猝不及防，只能眼睁睁地看着老巫师转向邓布利多的床。他发誓 Kray 在偷笑。
"I have slowed down the curse," said Kray, steering the conversation away from the Dark Lord, "but the damage has been done."
“我已经减缓了诅咒的速度,”克雷说，把话题从黑魔王身上引开，“但是伤害已经造成了。”
Severus glanced at the unmoving figure on the bed. "How long?"
西弗勒斯瞥了一眼床上一动不动的身影。“多久了?”
"Six months."
“六个月”
Before the end of the school year then. The weight of what he had to do when the time came sat heavily on Severus. Then again, if he failed to complete his latest mission for the Dark Lord, he wouldn't even live long enough to become Dumbledore's murderer. Suddenly Severus felt more tired than ever, though he made sure his face showed nothing.
那就在学年结束之前。时候到了，他必须做的事情沉重地压在西弗勒斯身上。不过话说回来，如果他没能完成黑魔王的最新任务，他甚至活不到杀死邓布利多的那一天。西弗勒斯突然感到前所未有的疲惫，尽管他确信自己的脸上没有任何表情。
"That is," Kray went on, "assuming the curse still remains unbroken."
“也就是说,”克雷继续说，“假设诅咒仍然没有被打破。”
Severus didn't bother challenging Kray. The man was as unyielding as the Dark Lord was when it came to achieving what was impossible.
西弗勒斯没有挑战克雷。在实现不可能的事情上，他和黑魔王一样不屈不挠。
"No words of discouragement, Severus? Perhaps my counterpart's torture has left its mark on you after all," drawled Kray. "I'll monitor Albus' condition. Leave and take a rest. I expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning. I intend to break this curse within the next four months."
“没有气馁的话吗，西弗勒斯？也许我对手的折磨最终还是在你身上留下了印记,”克雷慢吞吞地说。我会监控阿不思的情况。走吧，休息一下。我希望明天早上在我办公室见到你。我打算在接下来的四个月内打破这个诅咒。”
Severus glared into the pair of determined blue eyes, annoyed by the order and the casual tone the man used to dismiss him. First the Dark Lord, then Albus Dumbledore, and now there was this Dark Lord's double.
西弗勒斯怒视着那双坚定的蓝眼睛，对他的命令和那个男人用来解雇他的随意语气感到恼火。先是黑魔王然后是阿不思·邓不利多现在又出现了黑魔王的替身。
But as always, there was nothing he could do. With a quick glance at Dumbledore, he turned on his heel and strode away.
但一如既往，他无能为力。他匆匆瞥了邓布利多一眼，转身大步走开了。
Tom watched as the Potions Master walked out of the room. Snape was still being strangely obedient, but if he expected to find a new leader in Tom then he was sorely mistaken.
汤姆看着魔药大师走出房间。斯内普还是出奇地听话，但如果他指望在汤姆身上找到一个新的领袖，那他就大错特错了。
"So you've been working together to break the curse."
“所以你们一直在合作打破诅咒”
"Surprised, Albus?" Tom glanced at the old wizard as he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position. "You're supposed to be resting. Pomfrey will have my head if she knows I'm talking to you at this hour."
“惊讶吗，阿不思?”汤姆看了一眼老巫师，他慢慢地把自己推到一个坐着的位置。你应该好好休息。如果庞弗雷知道我在这个时候跟你说话她会杀了我的”
Albus smiled. "Nothing you can't handle, I'm sure." He propped up his pillow and leaned back, studying Tom. "Why Severus?"
阿不思笑了。“没什么是你处理不了的，我肯定。”他撑起枕头，向后靠着，打量着汤姆。“为什么是西弗勒斯?”
"At first, merely for information gathering."
“一开始，只是为了收集情报”
"He impressed you."
“他给你留下了深刻的印象”
"Yes," Tom admitted. "His attitude left much to be desired, but he is skilled enough to handle what I've been teaching him."
“是的,”汤姆承认。“他的态度还有很多不足之处，但他有足够的技巧来处理我教给他的东西。”
Not that their meetings involved much teaching, but Snape had definitely been learning from their various debates. At the very least, the Potions Master should now be able to make sense of his newly acquired research notes, and hopefully do something useful with them.
并不是说他们的会议包含了太多的教学内容，而是斯内普肯定从他们的各种辩论中学到了很多东西。至少，魔药大师现在应该能够理解他新获得的研究笔记，并且希望能够用它们做一些有用的事情。
"Is that all?" asked Albus.
“就这些吗?”阿不思问。
"What else do you expect?"
“你还指望什么?”
But loathe as Tom was to admit it, there was indeed another reason – the Severus Snape in this world reminded him of himself. Somehow, like Tom, the Potions Master had found himself living a life that was against what he really wanted.
尽管汤姆不愿意承认，但确实还有一个原因——这个世界上的西弗勒斯 · 斯内普让他想起了自己。不知何故，像汤姆一样，这位魔药大师发现自己过着一种与他真正想要的生活背道而驰的生活。
While Snape had changed his allegiance, he had not changed much at heart. He still looked up to Voldemort, probably not so much for the nonexistent leadership, but for the immense knowledge and power. His constant hunger for respect had not been squashed, but instead transformed into bitterness and an almost childish tendency to stress his authority in classrooms. He likely detested Albus' ideology, but that didn't matter as far as his loyalty was concerned. It didn't even matter what Snape himself wanted, because Snape's drive came from somewhere else entirely – Lily Evans. The impact of Evans' death had been powerful enough to push Snape onto a new path and bind him to it irrevocably.
虽然斯内普改变了他的忠诚，但他本质上并没有改变多少。他仍然崇拜伏地魔，也许不是因为那个不存在的领袖，而是因为他拥有巨大的知识和力量。他一直渴望得到尊重，但这种渴望并没有被压制，反而变成了怨恨和在课堂上强调自己权威的近乎幼稚的倾向。他可能厌恶阿不思的意识形态，但就他的忠诚而言，这并不重要。斯内普自己想要什么并不重要，因为斯内普的驱动力完全来自其他地方——莉莉 · 埃文斯。埃文斯死亡的影响已经强大到足以推动斯内普走上一条新的道路，并且不可逆转地把他束缚在这条道路上。
After living with a choice that went against his own desire for years, Snape's mask had slipped when he was presented with a third option – a leader who he had worked for, who understood what he wanted and who had nothing to do with the death of the woman he was obsessed with. Only that third option was nothing more than an illusion. In the end, one had to live with the choice one had made.
多年来，斯内普一直生活在一个与自己的愿望背道而驰的选择之中，但当他面对第三个选择时，他的面具就滑落了——一个他曾为之工作过的领导者，一个明白自己想要什么的领导者，一个与他所痴迷的女人的死毫无关系的领导者。只有第三种选择只是一种幻觉。最后，人们不得不接受自己做出的选择。
"While I am pleased to know that the two of you are getting along well, we need to discuss our next move," said Albus. "You're planning to meet Voldemort regardless of what I say, aren't you, Tom?"
“虽然我很高兴知道你们两个相处得很好，但我们需要讨论我们的下一步行动,”阿不思说。“不管我说什么，你都要去见伏地魔，是吗，汤姆?”
"Think of it this way, Albus: I'll be able to eliminate another Horcrux for you. Nagini is always by his side, as you well know."
“这样想吧，阿不思: 我可以为你消灭另一个魂器。你很清楚，纳吉尼总是在他身边。”
"But killing Nagini isn't what you're concerned about, is it, Tom?"
“但你关心的不是杀死纳吉尼，对吗，汤姆?”
Tom eyed the old wizard coldly. "I may have told you my past, but don't think that suddenly means you know all about me, Albus. I'm not about to be tempted," he sneered at that word.
汤姆冷冷地看着那个老巫师。“我可能告诉过你我的过去，但不要以为这样你就会知道我的一切，阿不思。我不会被诱惑的,”他对这个词嗤之以鼻。
"Voldemort is dangerous."
伏地魔很危险
"So am I," Tom countered.
“我也是,”汤姆反驳道。
Albus eyed him for a long while then sighed. "Severus will go with you, and you will leave once you eliminate the last Horcrux."
阿不思盯着他看了很久，然后叹了口气。“西弗勒斯会和你一起去，一旦你消灭了最后一个魂器，你就会离开。”
Tom raised an eyebrow. "Last? Isn't there another one walking around Hogwarts right now? Or have you finally sent him away to join his friends for Christmas?"
汤姆扬了扬眉毛。“最后一个？现在霍格沃茨不是还有一个吗？还是你终于把他送去和他的朋友们一起过圣诞节了?”
Albus turned serious. "Tom –"
阿不思变得严肃起来。“汤姆——”
"I have no wish to interfere in your plan regarding the boy, but I am curious. He seems to believe he actually stands a chance against Voldemort, and you've been encouraging this delusion of his without giving him any training." Tom tilted his head. "You are relying on Voldemort to kill him, aren't you?"
”我不想干涉你关于那个男孩的计划，但我很好奇。他似乎相信自己真的有机会对抗伏地魔，而你一直在鼓励他的这种错觉，却没有给他任何训练。”汤姆歪着头。“你指望伏地魔杀了他，是吗?”
Albus closed his eyes for a long time then he nodded. "I should have told Harry the truth a long time ago, but I care too much about him," he whispered. "Perhaps it is better this way, for him to die fighting for what he believes in."
阿不思闭上眼睛良久，然后点了点头。“我早就应该告诉哈利真相了，但我太在乎他了,”他低声说。“也许这样更好，让他为自己的信仰而死”
Instead of dying simply because he had to, thought Tom grimly, but wouldn't it be better for the boy to know that his death would actually amount to something? Then again, the boy was a Gryffindor.
汤姆冷酷地想，与其仅仅因为不得不死，不如让这个男孩知道他的死会有所意义，这不是更好吗？不过，那孩子是格兰芬多的学生。
"There is another matter, Tom," said Albus. "The war is coming to an end sooner than I expected, thanks to you, but for it to play out to its very end –"
“还有一件事，汤姆,”阿不思说。“多亏了你，战争比我预想的要结束得早，但是要结束到最后...”
"You need me to leave this world," Tom finished.
“你需要我离开这个世界,”汤姆说完。
Since his soul was identical to Voldemort's, his presence had essentially created an effect similar to that of a Horcrux. And the same was true in the reverse direction, meaning neither of them could die as long as they co-existed in this world. With a start, Tom realized he had stumbled upon a way to achieve immortality without meaning to. He pushed this thought away and masked his excitement; he would have to look deeper into this theory.
因为他的灵魂和伏地魔的一模一样，他的存在本质上创造了一种类似于魂器的效果。反过来也是一样，意味着只要他们在这个世界上共存，他们都不会死。一开始，汤姆意识到他无意中发现了一种获得永生的方法。他把这个想法推到一边，掩盖了自己的兴奋; 他必须更深入地研究这个理论。
"Don't worry, Albus, when the time comes, I'll do what I have to."
“别担心，阿不思，到时候我会做我该做的”
Chapter 24: Second Encounter
第二十四章: 第二次相遇
A scream tore through the empty hall when Tom was on his way to dinner. He turned back to the long corridor he had come from and broke into a run, rushing towards where the painful wail could still be heard. Whoever it was sounded very young. Tom pushed himself to run faster.
汤姆去吃晚饭的路上，空荡荡的大厅里突然传来一声尖叫。他转身回到从那条长长的走廊，突然跑了起来，冲向仍能听到痛苦哀号的地方。不管是谁，听起来都很年轻。汤姆强迫自己跑得更快。
A small figure came into view, standing over someone on the floor. Tom felt a sense of déjà vu. "Mr. Gibbon?"
一个矮小的身影出现在视野中，站在地板上的某个人旁边。汤姆有种似曾相识的感觉。“ Gibbon 先生?”
The boy looked over his shoulder then fled towards the other end of the corridor. Tom let him go, knowing he coud easily track him down as long as he remained on Hogwarts grounds, and checked on the fallen student. Mark Williamson, the boy who had tried to curse Gibbon several weeks ago. He was shaking uncontrolably. His pupils were dilated and his skin was burning. There was blood on his robe and on the floor.
男孩回头看了看，然后向走廊的另一头跑去。汤姆让他走了，因为他知道只要他留在霍格沃茨，他就能轻易地找到他，并检查了那个倒下的学生。马克 · 威廉姆森，几周前试图诅咒吉本的那个男孩。他不停地颤抖。瞳孔放大，皮肤灼烧。他的长袍和地板上都有血迹。
"Pro... professor..."
“教... 教授...”
"It's all right, Mr. Williamson. You're safe." Tom gathered the trembling boy in his arms and stood back up. "I'm taking you to the hospital wing."
“没关系，威廉姆森先生。你很安全”汤姆把颤抖的男孩抱在怀里，重新站了起来。“我带你去医院”
The boy clung to him, sobbing quietly. "It... it hurts."
男孩紧紧地抱着他，轻轻地抽泣着。“好... ... 好痛。”
"Do you know which curse he used on you?" asked Tom.
“你知道他对你用了什么诅咒吗?”汤姆问。
"The one you showed us. On the first week."
“你第一周给我们看的那个”
The cruciatus curse, as Tom had feared. From one first year to another. Albus was going to have a fit when he heard of it.
十字架诅咒，正如汤姆所担心的那样。从一年级到另一年级。阿不思一听到这件事就要大发雷霆。
Tom brought the boy to the hospital wing and handed him to Madam Pomfrey, who alerted Albus and Minerva at once. Instead of waiting for them and their questions, Tom hurried off to track down the culprit. Hogwarts was already pointing him to the direction the wayward snake was escaping to.
汤姆把这个男孩带到医院的病房，把他交给庞弗雷夫人，庞弗雷夫人立刻通知了阿不思和密涅瓦。汤姆没有等他们和他们的问题，而是匆匆忙忙地去追捕罪犯。霍格沃茨已经给他指出了那条任性的蛇逃跑的方向。
The Forbidden Forest seemed to be encased in an impenetrable darkness. Tom could hardly see anything beyond a few feet and he was reluctant to feed the light of his wand for fear of attracting the nearby creatures. The footprints in the snow made tracking Gibbon ridiculously easy. Considering the boy was Slytherin, it was almost as if he wished to be found. Either that, or he was trying to lure Tom out of Hogwarts' protection.
禁林似乎被包裹在无法穿透的黑暗中。除了几英尺外，汤姆几乎什么也看不见，他不愿意用魔杖照明，因为害怕吸引附近的生物。雪地上的脚印让追踪吉本变得异常容易。考虑到这个男孩是 Slytherin，他似乎希望被找到。要么是这样，要么就是他想引诱汤姆脱离霍格沃茨的保护。
Could Gibbon be working for Voldemort? Very unlikely. But the boy had used an unforgivable on another student - a crime that could earn him a life sentence in Azkaban, unless -
吉本会不会是伏地魔的人？不太可能。但这个男孩对另一个学生使用了不可饶恕的手段——这种罪行可能会让他在阿兹卡班被判无期徒刑，除非——
Unless he was under the imperius curse, like Rosmerta had been.
除非他像罗斯默塔一样，受到了帝王的诅咒。
Tom paused at the edge of Hogwarts' anti-apparition ward and stepped over. Cursed or not, he needed to get the boy back to the castle. And if this turned out to be a trap... well, he was planning to pay his counterpart a little visit, anyway.
汤姆在霍格沃茨的幽灵病房边上停了下来，走了过去。不管是不是被诅咒了，他必须把那个男孩带回城堡。如果这是个陷阱的话... 他还是打算去拜访一下他的对手。
Gibbon had stopped a short distance beyond the boundary of the anti-apparition ward. The white light of his wand flickered shakily from left to right, then at Tom.
吉本阻止了一个反幽灵病房的短途境界的彼方。他的魔杖发出的白光摇摇晃晃地从左到右闪烁着，然后向汤姆射去。
"Professor!" The boy's eyes were filled with panic. "It wasn't me, I swear! It's... it's Malfoy. He... I heard his voice in my head and -"
“教授!”男孩的眼里充满了恐慌。“不是我，我发誓！是马尔福。他... 我在脑海里听到了他的声音
Tom held up a hand to silence Gibbon. "Calm down. You were likely under the imperius curse. Come, let us -"
汤姆举手让吉本闭嘴。“冷静下来。你可能受到了帝王诅咒。来吧，让我们-”
He stopped when he felt magic radiating from the boy - no, from the green and white scarf around his neck. Someone had turned it into a portkey - a portkey that would no doubt send the boy - alone and scared - straight to Voldemort.
当他感觉到从男孩身上散发出的魔力时，他停了下来——不，是从他脖子上的绿色和白色围巾上散发出来的。有人把它变成了一把门钥匙——毫无疑问，这把门钥匙会把这个孤独而又害怕的男孩直接送到伏地魔那里去。
So this was a trap, after all.
毕竟这是个陷阱。
Tom lunged forward. He dimly heard Gibbon's startled cry as the Forbidden Forest spiralled out of sight.
汤姆向前扑去，隐约听到吉本的惊呼声，因为禁林已经消失在他的视线之外。
When his vision cleared, he was still within a forest, though the air was warmer than before and the snow on the ground not as thick. A narrow path, almost obscured by the grass, lay before him. Without warning, his scar began to burn. Voldemort had arrived.
当他的视线变得清晰时，他还在一片森林里，尽管空气比以前暖和了，地上的雪也没那么厚了。他面前有一条几乎被草掩盖的狭窄小路。没有任何预兆，他的伤疤开始灼烧。伏地魔来了。
Tom took out his wand and turned to the boy behind him. Gibbon looked close to tears, but it was only natural. He placed a finger on his lips then lightly tapped the house crest on the boy's robe. Gibbon's eyes widened, then he nodded and took in a deep breath. When he looked back at Tom, the fear was still present in his eyes, though there was also alertness. Tom cast a disillusionment charm on him, trusting the young Slytherin to stay out of trouble despite what he was likely going to witness.
汤姆拿出魔杖，转向身后的男孩。吉本看起来几乎要哭了，但这是很自然的。他把一根手指放在嘴唇上，然后轻轻地敲了敲男孩长袍上的屋顶。吉本瞪大了眼睛，然后点点头，深吸了一口气。当他回头看汤姆的时候，他的眼睛里仍然有恐惧，尽管也有警觉。汤姆给他施了一个幻灭的魔法，相信年轻的斯莱特林不会惹麻烦，尽管他很可能会目睹这一切。
He had imagined this moment many times before. He had even anticipated it, but now he felt neither excitement nor trepidation, only a vague feeling that something in his life was shifting. The first time he felt this way was when he killed the rabbit in the orphanage, the second time was when he promised Albus not to kill again. He strode forward. There was no room for doubts or hesitations, not when it was his other-self who was waiting for him.
他以前多次想象过这一刻。他甚至已经预料到了，但是现在他既没有感到兴奋也没有感到害怕，只是有一种模糊的感觉，他的生活正在发生变化。他第一次有这种感觉是在孤儿院杀死兔子的时候，第二次是他答应阿不思不再杀人的时候。他大步向前走去。没有怀疑和犹豫的余地，尤其是当他的另一个自我在等待着他的时候。
A clearing came into view. It looked familiar. Knowing himself, this was likely the place they had met for the first time months ago. Voldemort stood in the middle of the clearing with Nagini hovering behind him in a protective bubble. Draco Malfoy stood before them. His face was pale, though his eyes were shinning in triumphant.
一片空地映入眼帘。看起来很眼熟。了解他自己，这可能是他们几个月前第一次见面的地方。伏地魔站在空地的中央，纳吉尼在他身后保护着他。德拉科 · 马尔福站在他们面前。他的脸色苍白，尽管他的眼睛闪烁着胜利的光芒。
"I see you managed to create a spell-activated portkey, Draco," said Tom, approaching the pair. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
“我看到你设法创造了一个咒语激活的门钥匙，德拉科,”汤姆走近他们俩说。“不错。一点也不差。”
Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Leave us," he hissed, his eyes never leaving Tom.
伏地魔的眼睛眯了起来。“离开我们,”他嘶嘶地说，他的眼睛从来没有离开过汤姆。
Draco looked up in surprise, but wisely refrained from protesting, or asking for reward.
德拉科惊讶地抬起头，但很明智地没有抗议，也没有要求报酬。
"Yes, my Lord," he said with a barely noticeable bow, then reached into his pocket and disappeared in a bright white light. It seemed he had indeed learned quite a bit about portkeys in the past few weeks.
“是的，大人,”他说着，微微鞠了一躬，然后把手伸进口袋，消失在一道明亮的白光中。在过去的几个星期里，他似乎确实学到了不少关于门锁的知识。
"Who are you?" hissed Voldemort.
“你是谁?”伏地魔嘶嘶地问。
Tom met his counterpart's eyes and willed his body to get used to the searing pain in his chest. He would not allow it to distract him in the ensuring duel.
汤姆看着对方的眼睛，心想自己的身体要适应胸口的剧烈疼痛。他决不允许这件事分散他在决斗中的注意力。
"Shredding your soul has made you slow, I see," he drawled.
“撕碎你的灵魂让你变慢了，我明白了,”他慢吞吞地说。
Crimson eyes widened in rage at the reminder of the destroyed Horcruxes. Voldemort trained his wand on Tom, who mirrored the action at once. Voldemort stared at the identical yew wands in disbelief, then his expressions turned thoughtful.
被摧毁的魂器提醒着，赤红色的眼睛因愤怒而睁大。伏地魔把魔杖对准了汤姆，汤姆立刻模仿了他的动作。伏地魔难以置信地盯着一模一样的紫杉魔杖，然后他的表情变得若有所思。
"Alternate worlds."
“平行世界”
Tom smirked. It seemed his counterpart's brain was still somewhat intact.
汤姆得意地笑了笑。看来他的对手的大脑还是有些完好无损的。
"It is supposed to be impossible."
“这应该是不可能的。”
"For most, so is immortality," countered Tom.
“对大多数人来说，永生也是如此,”汤姆反驳道。
They fell into silence, appraising each other.
他们陷入沉默，互相评价。
"Why are you here?" asked Voldemort.
“你为什么在这里?”伏地魔问。
"Nothing more than curiosity," admitted Tom. "I wasn't planning to get involved in your war."
“只不过是好奇罢了,”汤姆承认，“我并不打算卷入你们的战争。”
"And yet you have allowed Dumbledore to control you!"
“但你还是让邓布利多控制了你!”
"You should know better than to make such an outrageous assumption," said Tom. "Whatever happened was caused by your own carelessness."
“你应该知道不能做出这样离谱的假设,”汤姆说。“不管发生了什么，都是你自己的疏忽造成的”
He dodged Voldemort's cruciatus curse and retaliated with a blasting curse. Voldemort blocked it, his eyes gleaming with predatory anticipation. There was a brief pause, then they both started exchanging spells in close range. The intensity with which Voldemort fought surprised Tom, as was the sheer power behind his curses. This, he realized, was why his counterpart managed stay in power despite his many mistakes.
他躲过了伏地魔的十字架诅咒，并用一个爆裂诅咒作为报复。伏地魔挡住了它，他的眼睛闪烁着掠食者的期待。短暂的停顿之后，他们开始近距离交换咒语。伏地魔战斗的激烈程度令汤姆感到惊讶，他的诅咒背后的力量也是如此。他意识到，这就是为什么他的对手尽管犯了许多错误仍然能够掌权的原因。
They fought evenly for a while, then Voldemort began to increase his speed, forcing Tom to do the same. Not used to such an intensive battle, Tom could feel himself tiring out. The pain in his chest was still building up and he was starting to have trouble breathing. This was bad.
他们势均力敌地战斗了一会儿，然后伏地魔开始加快速度，迫使汤姆也这样做。汤姆不习惯这样激烈的战斗，他感到很累。他胸口的疼痛还在加剧，他开始出现呼吸困难。太糟糕了。
Two curses from Voldemort forced Tom to dive to the ground, then he rolled out of the way as a killing curse shot towards him. Unexpected fear gripped him at the sight of the deadly green light. He shook it off and pushed himself to his feet, sending off a cutting curse at the same time. Voldemort sidestepped it and Tom waved his wand again. The red beam changed direction and shot back towards Voldemort, who realized what was happening at the last second and managed to dodge. The curse changed direction again, homing in towards the Dark Lord, who narrowed his eyes and blocked it with magic.
伏地魔的两个诅咒迫使汤姆扑倒在地，然后他滚开了，一个致命的诅咒向他射来。看到那致命的绿光，他感到意外的恐惧。他挣脱了，把自己从地上推了起来，同时发出了一个切割诅咒。伏地魔避开了它，汤姆又挥动了他的魔杖。红色的光束改变了方向，向伏地魔反射而去，伏地魔在最后一秒意识到发生了什么，设法躲开了。诅咒再次改变方向，向黑魔王逼近，黑魔王眯起眼睛，用魔法挡住了诅咒。
"So this is the trick I kept hearing about," he said. "Has Dumbeldore deluded you so that you believe you can defeat me with such pathetic skills?"
“所以这就是我一直听说的把戏,”他说。“是不是邓布利多欺骗了你，让你相信你能用如此可悲的技巧打败我?”
He sent off a cutting curse, the same curse he had just blocked, though while Tom's was a bright crimson, his was almost golden and the power radiating off it was unbelievable. Tom knew he should dodge the curse, but he found himself erecting a shield instead, fighting his counterpart's power head on. His hand shook under the force of the curse and cold rage swirled inside him. It was not enough. When it came to raw power, his was no match for his counterpart's and his shield was close to shattering. He willed himself to stay calm. He could not lose control, not in a duel like this.
他发出了一个切割诅咒，就是他刚才阻止的那个，虽然汤姆的诅咒是鲜红色的，但他的诅咒几乎是金色的，散发出的力量令人难以置信。汤姆知道自己应该躲开诅咒，但他发现自己正在竖起一面盾牌，与对方的力量正面对抗。他的手在诅咒的力量下颤抖，冰冷的愤怒在他心中翻滚。这还不够。当谈到原始力量时，他不是对手的对手，他的盾牌几乎要破碎了。他强迫自己保持冷静。在这样的决斗中，他不能失去控制。
But what if it was the only way to win? Voldemort had no control. He never had to restrain himself. He never had to deny himself.
但如果这是赢的唯一方法呢？伏地魔无法控制。他从不需要克制自己。他从不需要否认自己。
"You are weak," hissed Voldemort.
“你太弱了,”伏地魔嘶嘶地说。
Tom's shield shattered. He dived sideway, narrowly managing to dodge it. He would never win this way. He needed more power, power that he knew he possessed. He recalled the time when he let loose his restraint in the Room of Requirement. He needed to do it again, to –
汤姆的盾牌碎了。他侧身跳水，勉强躲过一劫。这样他永远赢不了。他需要更多的力量，他知道他拥有的力量。他回忆起他在万能屋里放开束缚的时光。他需要再来一次
The image of a scared little boy flashed before his eyes and Tom was suddenly reminded of the fact that one of his students was watching. Gibbon. The little fool.
一个受惊的小男孩的形象在他眼前闪过，汤姆突然想起他的一个学生正在看着他。Gibbon.小傻瓜。
"That's all right, sir. I trust you."
“没关系，先生，我相信你”
The next moment Tom was falling backward, his wand flying out of his grip. Before he could summon it back to himself, Voldemort stepped on it. The wand broke with a sickening crack.
下一刻，汤姆向后倒去，魔杖飞出了他的手掌。还没等他把它召唤回来，伏地魔就把它踩死了。魔杖啪的一声断了。
"Pathetic," he said, aiming his wand at Tom's forehead. "Do you see now? In the end it is I who emerge victorious. I am curious, however. What made the difference?"
“真可悲,”他说，用魔杖指着汤姆的额头。你现在明白了吗？最后胜利者是我。但我很好奇。有什么区别呢?”
With their magic being identical to each other, any defence was useless and there was nothing Tom could do as the invading presence forced itself into his mind. The memories of the orphanage came first, then his years at Hogwarts.
由于他们的魔法相同，任何防御都是无用的，汤姆也无能为力，因为入侵的存在强行进入他的脑海。孤儿院的记忆首先出现，然后是他在霍格沃茨的那些年。
He was standing at the top of the Astronomy Tower with Albus. The sky was dark. A half-moon was shimmering in and out sight in the fog above the forbidden forest.
他和阿不思站在天文塔的顶端。天空一片漆黑。一轮半月在禁林上方的雾中时隐时现。
"I don't feel sorry for what I've done, I don't think I ever will," he said, "but I promise you I will never kill again. I promise you I will never allow myself to become a monster."
“我不为我所做的感到抱歉，我认为我永远不会,”他说，“但我向你保证，我再也不会杀人了。”。我向你保证，我永远不会让自己变成一个怪物”
Tom tried to fight back, but he could barely muster any strength.
汤姆试图反抗，但他几乎没有力气。
He pushed himself to the corner of his cell, cowering away from the dementorx. They wouldn't leave. The coldness was unbearable. Then the world faded away as his worst nightmare came alive.
他把自己推到牢房的角落里，躲避着摄魂怪。他们不肯走。寒冷无法忍受。随着他最可怕的噩梦成真，世界逐渐消失了。
Someone was screaming. The invading presence pushed deeper.
有人在尖叫，入侵者越来越深。
He whimpered under the bench, wishing for the pain to stop, but his maimed body wouldn't move. He screamed, but no one would listen.
他在长凳下呜咽着，希望疼痛能够停止，但是他残废的身体却动弹不得。他尖叫，但没人听。
More memories were forced to the surface. Him in a small room with his wand pointed at Albus, blaming the old man for all that he had gone through. Him standing in front of a class of scared first years. A Ravenclaw raised her hand and asked why he had been sent to Azkaban. More faces followed, most of them his Slytherins.
更多的记忆被迫浮出水面。他在一个小房间里，用魔杖指着阿不思，把他所经历的一切都归咎于那个老人。他站在一群吓坏了的新生面前。一个拉文克劳人举起手问他为什么被送到阿兹卡班。更多的面孔接踵而至，其中大部分是他的斯莱特林学生。
"You are nothing but a complete failure."
“你就是个彻头彻尾的失败者”
Voldemort's voice seemed to come from afar, but then invading presence started to withdraw. Acting purely on instinct, Tom gripped onto the fading presence. Same wand. Same magic. He could make this work.
伏地魔的声音似乎是从远处传来的，但随后侵略者开始撤退。纯粹出于本能，汤姆紧紧抓住那逐渐消失的影子。一样的魔杖。一样的魔法。他能成功的。
Voldemort raised his wand and said the two words that had plagued Tom's nightmares for years, "Avada kedavra!"
伏地魔举起魔杖，说出了困扰汤姆多年的噩梦的两个字: “阿瓦达索命!”
Tom concentrated and tightened his hold on the thread that connected him to his counterpart, gaining control. The green beam paused in mid-air, then shot back towards it caster. Voldemort growled and waved his wand, causing the curse to freeze again, hovering between the two of them.
汤姆把注意力集中在连接他和对方的那根线上，紧紧抓住，获得了控制权。绿色的光束在半空中停了下来，然后向施法者射去。伏地魔咆哮着挥舞着魔杖，诅咒再次凝固，悬浮在他们两人之间。
Then something shot up from the ground and a sharp pain erupted from Tom's forearm. Nagini withdrew her fangs almost at once, as if horrified that she had attacked one version of her master in order to defend another, but the damage had been done. Tom gritted his teeth against the pain in forearm while trying to maintain his concentration. He knew it was not the venom. Nagini's venom wouldn't cause pain. No, something else was -
接着，有什么东西从地上窜了出来，汤姆的前臂一阵剧痛。纳吉尼几乎立刻收回了她的獠牙，似乎很害怕她为了保护另一个版本的主人而攻击另一个版本的主人，但是伤害已经造成了。汤姆咬紧牙关抵抗前臂的疼痛，同时努力保持注意力集中。他知道那不是毒液。纳吉尼的毒液不会引起疼痛。不，还有一件事..
The burning pain spread, traveling up Tom's arm to his chest. For a moment he felt as if his scar was being ripped open and something cold was being forced into the old wound. He heard himself screaming. Memories that weren't his flooded into his mind, then unconsciousness claimed him.
灼热的疼痛蔓延开来，沿着汤姆的胳膊蔓延到胸口。有那么一会儿，他觉得自己的伤疤好像被撕开了，旧伤口里被塞进了什么冰冷的东西。他听到自己在尖叫。不属于他的记忆涌入他的脑海，然后失去意识。
打扰了，好像译者一直没有翻译下一章，所以我个人弄了一下22章，基于翻译器和搜索引擎，后期校对+润色，可能存在错误。 第二十三章：第五个魂器 汤姆看着房间，这里一半的东西都被毁了，只余地板上一层厚厚的灰烬。无情的火焰中，一些较大的东西被烧成堆堆垃圾，散落在各处。 肆意使用黑魔法让汤姆内心涌起一股上瘾般的兴奋，汤姆低头，盯着他的魔杖，一瞬间他被此迷惑了。如果阿不思知道，他会说什么—— 不，阿不思不在这里——这里的不存在他重视的阿不思，他的阿不思在另一个世界，不管汤姆在这里做了什么，都不会对他的世界有所影响。他可以做任何事，也不会有任何后果—— 汤姆停止继续想下去，他在想什么？ 他再一次环顾四周，房间被他完全毁了，虽然厉火是摧毁魂器最好的方法之一，但在冠冕被摧毁后他大可以停下了，可汤姆却愤怒地加大咒语，让火势继续蔓延。 他是想证明什么吗？他为什么要这样做？明明他不是这个世界的人，无论这个世界的伏地魔做了什么，都与他无关。 汤姆试图这样说服自己。 汤姆呼出一口气，收回了魔杖。在他知晓他的对手——伏地魔在这个世界上以何种姿态生存的之时，他就明然这次旅途必然来之坎坎。因此，在这个世界，他一直小心谨言慎行，然而现在… 他在房间里发现了冠冕，伏地魔说他从未改变，仍然会走上曾经他放弃的路，然后一切都开始变了。 三天前他对阿不思彻夜长谈，叙述他过去的经历，挖出他潜藏久矣的记忆，当汤姆说出他曾经的黑暗过往时，不安在他内心扎根，并随之愈演愈烈，就好像他五十年前所做的选择只是一时的压制，直到现在，他才看清他所放弃的、他所选择的究竟是怎样的道路。 还有斯内普，他与阿不思截然不同，把汤姆与伏地魔作比。斯内普对汤姆全然不知，但这种大胆的对比最终让汤姆认识到这场旅途不一样了，不再是为了满足他的探究欲，他也不再只是一个观众，伏地魔不再是一个正好威胁世界的黑魔王，而是汤姆多年来一直与之斗争的化身。不知何故，他与伏地魔的战争变成了一场与自我的斗争，战场不是在英国，而是在心中。 在几周前，汤姆还决定对伏地魔的魂器视而不见，然而刚刚他冲进有求必应屋摧毁了魂器。不是因为他想证明什么，而是他意识到他不能置之身外了。 虽然现在他摧毁了魂器，但是汤姆想知道，之前究竟是什么阻止了他，为什么他要保护伏地魔？他不是伏地魔，他曾经牺牲了一切以远离那条黑暗的道路。 汤姆摇摇头，转身离开了房间。这些都不重要了，他只需确保不会重演这种局面。想要待在这个世界上，他必须更加坚定地保持自己的意志，克制自身的力量。 出去的时候，汤姆瞥了一眼不远处消失柜的残骸。消失柜一片乌黑，半扇门掉下来，哪怕外表可以恢复，其能力也被大火永久地抹除了，无论如何都无法与另一边的消失柜相连。 阿不思一定会对此高兴。汤姆摧毁了伏地魔的一个魂器，还阻止了德拉科 · 马尔福打开一条隐蔽的通道，阻止食死徒绕过一切霍格沃兹的防御工事直接进来。 不知是什么让德拉科对哭泣的桃金娘吐露了心声。桃金娘害怕汤姆，他从这个特殊的鬼魂中了解到了德拉科在做什么。汤姆对摧毁消失柜毫不后悔，他会庇护他的小蛇，但当其中一员的行为会危害别的小蛇，危及学校其他人时，这种庇护就结束了。 麻烦远不及此。汤姆不明白伏地魔为什么让德拉科来执行这个任务，汤姆知道德拉科失败的后果，他应该应该插手这件事吗？还是这样做会让事情变得更糟？毕竟伏地魔命令他的下属绝不放过汤姆。 随着一声疲惫的叹息，汤姆离开了这个破败的房间。事情变了，他必须重新思考自己在这场战争中所扮演的角色。但之后邓布利多一定会对此非常高兴的，汤姆想。 伏地魔不断在英国袭击、谋杀，恐惧步步扩大，更多学生退学了，选择圣诞假期不留校的学生也越来越多。汤姆冷漠地想，在新学期会回来多少人？ 冠冕的消息让阿不思感到惊讶，之后汤姆挤出一些时间去进行他的研究——这也是他最初来到这个世界上的目的。他明白平静的时光是短暂的，然而假期开始一个星期，平静的时光就被打破了。 这天开始得相当平常，汤姆把大部分时间花在查阅资料上。晚饭前一个小时，一种熟悉的空虚感袭来，又一个魂器被毁灭了。数分钟后，费尔奇叫他去校医室，阿不思躺在床上，失去了意识。 “发生了什么?”他问，来到阿不思的床边。 庞弗雷夫人正在诊断这位老巫师。她身后是麦格和斯内普，斯内普正瞪着哈利 · 波特。男孩坐在阿不思旁边的床上，神情痛苦，但没有受伤。 汤姆靠得太近，让魔药大师无法忽视他。斯内普抬头眯起眼，他们都没有忘记上次谈话是如何结束的。 “显然，校长和波特去远足了。”斯内普开口。 “远足。”汤姆重复道。斯内普轻轻地点了点头，证实了他已经知道的事情：阿不思带着波特找到了另一个魂器。 汤姆越过庞弗雷夫人，看向床上一动不动的身影。阿不思没有受到任何外伤，但他脸色苍白，大汗淋漓——这都是过度使用魔法的表现。阿不思的身体无法承受他的消耗，这会让… 汤姆瞥了一眼阿不思的手，心中暗骂。阿不思的衰弱让诅咒蔓延了。这个自杀的老傻瓜！他究竟在想什么？ “我等你回答呢，波特。” 斯内普冷笑道。汤姆的注意力转向波特，波特警惕地看了汤姆一眼，才说话。 “邓布利多教授说他有事要去马尔福庄园，但他没有告诉我是什么事。” 即使不用摄神取念，汤姆也能看出他在撒谎。 “马尔福太太和... ... 贝拉特里克斯 · 莱斯特兰奇在那儿,”波特继续说。“我们离开的时候他们发现了我们，然后伏地魔来了。” 他看向汤姆的视线毫无掩饰。“邓布利多教授扔给我一把钥匙，把我送回了这里。我不知道后面怎么样了，但猜他们打起来了。” 伏地魔能让阿不思消耗过度，汤姆对他对手的力量有了一定的估计，但阿不思被手上的诅咒削弱了，估计并不准确。如果汤姆清楚战斗的结局，就能够更好地估计伏地魔的实力，但汤姆怀疑波特是否会对他坦白。 从男孩的表情来看，他似乎觉得，如果他可以在现场帮邓布利多——如果可以称之为帮，那结局就会不一样。汤姆明白斯内普为什么固执地认为这个孩子傲慢得无可救药了。 但至少，阿不思还有足够的理智救出学生…他真的有吗？汤姆注意到波特翠绿色双眼里的奇怪自信，不禁愣住了。 “阿不思让你带着在庄园里找到的东西回来，对不对?”汤姆问。“他告诉你怎么摧毁那个东西。” 男孩僵住了，汤姆的猜想对了。阿不思要获得魂器，也要借此机会训练哈利 · 波特，他刚刚独自摧毁了伏地魔的一部分灵魂。 训练波特的原因，汤姆只能想到一个——一个他怀疑了很久的原因。 “这与你无关，教授。”波特的眼里充满了愤怒。 汤姆在心里叹了口气。他好不容易让这个男孩明白他和伏地魔不是一个人，然后他的对手伏地魔来了，毁了一切。不知道魂器对波特说了什么，做了什么，但无疑激怒了他。 “波特先生，由于你的态度，格兰芬多扣五分。”汤姆从床边走开，给庞弗雷夫人腾出空间。庞弗雷夫人已经完成了对阿不思的诊断，正快速地给这个男孩做检查。 庞弗雷夫人的脸苍白得吓人，她递给波特强化药水时，手微微颤抖，汤姆把一切收进眼底。经过如此细致的检查，她肯定发现了阿不思将会死于诅咒。 检查结束后，汤姆毫不惊讶地看到，她立刻让波特离开。 “可是…”波特先看了汤姆一眼，然后又看了看阿不思。汤姆挑起眉毛，示意男孩大声说出他的疑虑。 “校长会没事的，波特先生。” 庞弗雷夫人说，“你可以走了。” 波特犹豫了一下，意识到他斗不过庞弗雷夫人，明智地答应了，他离开了校医室。 待庞弗雷夫人把门关上后，斯内普立刻来到阿不思的身边。 汤姆就站在他身后，密切注视着魔药教授检查阿不思的手。 “阿不思怎么样了? ”麦格皱着眉头。 “过度使用魔法。”庞弗雷夫人说。 麦格被吓了一跳，这情有可原，阿不思是世界上最强大的巫师之一，即使是伏地魔战斗，也不可能把自己累成这样。除非，阿不思一直在用魔法来抑制身上的诅咒。 汤姆等庞弗雷夫人说出真相，却发现护士长看向他的目光含着迟疑。 “感谢你如此谨慎，庞弗雷夫人,”汤姆缓缓说，“我很清楚阿不思的情况。” 庞弗雷眯起眼睛，把目光从他身上移开，看向斯内普。斯内普抽出魔杖，按着阿不思的手。“为什么不告诉我…” “你知道你什么都做不了。”斯内普头也不抬。 “究竟怎么了?”麦格焦躁地打断了他们。 庞弗雷夫人犹豫着回答。 “阿不思手上的诅咒还在他体内,”她声音平稳，但眼神却显露出骇然，“这会杀了他的。” 麦格脸色惨白：“可是阿不思说诅咒解决了。” “他说谎了。”汤姆冷冷道。考虑到阿不思的身份，在战争中隐瞒这个消息无疑是有利于战略的，但米勒娃·麦格值得信任，汤姆原以为阿不思至少会告诉她。 “这是黑魔王创造的诅咒,”斯内普开口。“用来杀人，我们只能做到压制诅咒。” “我们应该把他送去圣芒戈。”庞弗雷夫人说。 “让大家知道伏地魔唯一害怕的巫师要死了?”汤姆说。“我们必须靠自己解开诅咒。” 汤姆认为能破解诅咒，斯内普这次没有再质疑，虽然他们还没有取得突破。斯内普这种奇怪的恭敬态度让汤姆感到恼火。 “你能解开吗?”麦格问汤姆。 汤姆注视着麦格的眼睛，看出了她的想法——如果有人解开伏地魔的诅咒，那必然是汤姆。 “我将尽我所能。”他说。 汤姆深吸了一口气，回头看到斯内普正紧紧拽着自己的小臂。 过了一会儿，他才迟迟反应过来，这是伏地魔在召集食死徒。 “去吧,”他拔出魔杖，走向前，“我会让阿不思活下去的。” 斯内普瞥了他一眼，点点头，迅速走出房间。 汤姆盯着斯内普。又一个魂器被摧毁，伏地魔必然怒不可遏。对食死徒来说，这会是一个艰难的夜晚，斯内普尤其如此，伏地魔让他去抓汤姆这个“该死的魂器”却失败了。 不过斯内普在霍格沃茨教书，是唯一有可能抓到汤姆的人，他对伏地魔仍然有价值，虽然挨几发钻心术是不可避免的，但汤姆确定斯内普不会死于今晚。 想想，斯内普居然为一个女人做了这么多。 汤姆内心冷笑，心思回到阿不思的诅咒上。哪怕斯内普是个痴情的白痴，他也要看着斯内普，防止斯内普在这寒天冻地里痛昏，暴晒而死，毕竟，他为了让斯内普得到自己想要留在这个世界上的知识，做了那么多，可不能浪费。
Chapter 25: Alternating Self 第25章: 交替的自我 He is floating in the dark. There is no light whatsoever, no indication of where he is or how he got here. He is vaguely aware that he should be afraid, but he feels oddly calm, as if someone is using Occlumency on him and blocking off all his troubling thoughts. He reaches for his wand and, for reasons he cannot remember, is surprised to find it in his pocket. 他在黑暗中漂浮。没有任何光线，没有任何迹象表明他在哪里，或者他是怎么到这里的。他模糊地意识到他应该感到害怕，但是他感到奇怪的平静，好像有人正在对他使用大脑封闭术，阻止了他所有烦恼的想法。他伸手去拿魔杖，不知为什么，竟然在口袋里发现了魔杖。 Lumos. 荧光灯。 He casts the spell non-verbally, reluctant to break the tranquillising silence. The tip of his wand glows, revealing what appears to be a mirror before him, though its surface is dull and all he can see is the blurred outline of his face. Below the mirror is a sink with a serpent engraved on the tap. He knows at once what he has to do - though he has no idea why - and yet he finds himself hesitating. Looking up at the blurry face in the mirror again, he wonders if he really wants to see. But then, he is never one to turn away from knowledge, and the part of him that has acknowledged the need to escape already knows there is no other choice. 他用非语言的方式施展咒语，不愿打破使人镇静的沉默。他的魔杖尖发着光，露出了他面前的一面镜子，尽管它的表面很暗淡，他所能看到的只是他脸上模糊的轮廓。镜子下面是一个水槽，水龙头上刻着一条蛇。他立刻知道自己必须做什么——尽管他不知道为什么——但他发现自己犹豫不决。他再次抬头看着镜子里那张模糊的脸，不知道自己是否真的想看清楚。但是，他从来都不是一个逃避知识的人，而且他认识到需要逃避的那部分已经知道没有其他选择了。 /Open./ 打开 As soon as the word leaves his mouth, he feels himself falling. The light of his wand grows brighter and brighter until all he can see is a blinding whiteness. He shields his eyes and tries his best to steady himself, then his feet touches solid ground. 这个词一出口，他就感到自己跌倒了。他的魔杖发出的光越来越亮，直到他只能看到一片刺眼的白色。他用盾牌挡住眼睛，尽力使自己站稳，然后双脚接触坚实的地面。 He has landed, it appears, in the middle of utter chaos. People are fleeing. The shops on the sides of the road are in flame. The lampposts are skewed, bending at odd angles with a rope hanging down each of them. Tied to the other end of the rope is a rabbit, dangling in mid-air under the extinguished light. There must be over a dozen of them, some are already dead, some are still struggling for breath. But the most peculiar is the sky. It is cloudy and grey with a jagged black crack running its length, as if someone has ripped it into two. Several thin threads remain, holding the broken halves of the sky together like poorly placed stitches in a wound that would not close. 看起来，他降落在一片混乱之中。人们都在逃跑。路边的商店着火了。路灯柱是倾斜的，每根路灯柱上都挂着一根绳子，以奇怪的角度弯曲。在绳子的另一端绑着一只兔子，在熄灭的灯光下悬在半空中。肯定有十几个，有些已经死了，有些还在挣扎呼吸。但最奇特的是天空。它浑浊而灰暗，一条锯齿状的黑色裂缝延伸着它的长度，好像有人把它撕成了两半。一些细线仍然存在，把破碎的半边天空连在一起，就像一个不能缝合的伤口上不合适的缝合线。 The ground tremors with every several steps he takes, not enough to knock him off balance, but a clear indication that something is very wrong. With no other option, he continues forward, sidestepping the rubble and overturned cars and staying clear of the fire. A woman drops on her knees as he passes by. A man grabs the hand of a child and runs away. Another woman screams and ducks back into a burning house. They are running from him, he realises, but he has no intention to cause harm. 他每走几步，地面就会震动一下，虽然不足以让他失去平衡，但这清楚地表明，事情非常不对劲。别无选择，他继续前进，避开瓦砾和翻倒的汽车，远离大火。他经过时，一个女人跪在地上。一个男人抓住一个孩子的手就跑了。另一个女人尖叫着躲回着火的房子里。他意识到，他们是在躲避他，但他无意造成伤害。 Or does he? 是吗？ Did he? 是吗？ Part of him has registered the fact that this is a dream, and dreams are often based on memories. He is starting to remember more now, whereas everything was hazy before. He recognises the sink he just saw as the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, though this place is clearly not it. He can also tell that the dead rabbit hanging from the lamppost is the one from the orphanage, the one he killed. He remembers his childhood, his discovery of magic, his time at Hogwarts, up to the point when he opened the Chamber. What happened afterwards? 他的一部分已经注意到这是一个梦的事实，而梦通常是建立在记忆的基础上的。他现在开始记得更多了，而以前的一切都是模糊的。他认出了刚才看到的水槽是密室的入口，尽管这里显然不是。他还能分辨出挂在灯柱上的死兔子就是孤儿院的那只，被他杀死的那只。他记得他的童年，他对魔法的发现，他在霍格沃茨的时光，直到他打开密室。之后发生了什么？ A startled cry from behind makes him turn. It is a small girl, no more than ten and in muggle clothes, edging away from him. There is a smudge of soot on her cheek; no doubt she has been running from the fire. She looks up as he walks closer, her eyes widening. Before he realises what is happening, he has lifted his wand. 一声惊叫从后面传来，使他转过身来。那是一个小女孩，不到十岁，穿着麻瓜的衣服，慢慢地从他身边走开。她的脸颊上有一块烟灰，毫无疑问，她一直在逃避火灾。当他走近时，她抬起头，睁大了眼睛。在他意识到发生了什么之前，他已经举起了他的魔杖。 "Avada Kedavra." 阿瓦达索命 The words roll off his tongue easily, almost without thought, and yet the green light makes him recoil. The girl hits the ground soundlessly, her eyes unseeing. Then he hears several pop sounds and a group of cloaked figures with white masks Apparate before him. They kneel and bow their heads. 这些话从他的舌头上轻而易举地脱口而出，几乎没有经过思考，然而绿光却使他畏缩不前。女孩无声无息地落在地上，眼睛什么也看不见。然后他听到了几声流行音乐，一群戴着白色面具的披着斗篷的人影出现在他面前。他们跪下，低下头。 "My lord," a few of them murmur. “我的主人,”他们中的一些人喃喃地说。 The satisfaction that comes with the address clashes with confusion. Unsure of what to do, he takes a step forward. Half of them cower. The one closest to him looks up, waiting for his order. 地址带来的满足感与困惑相冲突。不知道该怎么办，他向前走了一步。一半的人都退缩了。离他最近的那个抬起头，等待他的命令。 Yes, he is their leader, isn't he? 是的，他是他们的领袖，不是吗？ The ground shakes again. Someone screams. The sound of an explosion comes from a distance. He looks around at the burning town again. There are bodies everywhere. Men. Women. Children. Pillars of black smoke are still rising. The houses are beyond repair. All these were done by the group gathered before him, by his order. 地面再次震动。有人在尖叫。爆炸声从远处传来。他又环顾四周，看着燃烧的城镇。到处都是尸体。男人。女人。孩子们。黑烟柱仍在上升。这些房子无法修理。所有这些都是由聚集在他面前的一群人按照他的命令完成的。 "That's not you." “那不是你” Lucius Malfoy emerges from a side street. More people follow. Wizards. Witches. All of them are Slytherins. His students. 卢修斯 · 马尔福从一条小街上走出来。更多的人跟着他。巫师。女巫。他们都是斯莱特林的学生。 Students? 学生？ "Why are you here?" he hears himself asking. “你为什么在这里?”他听到自己在问。 "To stop you from acting like an idiot, of course," says Lucius. "Honestly, as if getting yourself bitten by a snake is not enough, you have to go and let that monster's memory wreck havoc in your mind." “当然是为了防止你表现得像个白痴,”卢修斯说。“老实说，好像被蛇咬还不够似的，你必须离开，让那个怪物的记忆在你的脑海中肆虐。” "Naturally, we come to the rescue." Avery grins, clearly excited. "And don't bother telling us to leave, professor. You taught us better than that." “当然，我们是来救援的。”艾弗里笑了，显然很兴奋。”不用麻烦让我们离开，教授。你教会了我们更多” "Be ambitious, but not without rules, right, Tom?" Rodolphus glances at the body of the child, then back at him. "Looks like you've forgotten one of yours." “要有野心，但不能没有规则，对吧，汤姆?”罗多弗斯瞥了一眼孩子的身体，然后又回头看了看他。“看来你忘了一个” "And you're not getting rid of us until you remember it," finishes Mulciber. “除非你想起来，否则你别想摆脱我们,”穆尔西伯最后说。 That is right. He has promised not to kill, hasn't he? But the one who made that promise does not have servants. The one who made that promise is weak and is so afraid of himself that he hides inside a school for decades, willingly submitting himself to someone who will never understand the extent of his sacrifice. 没错。他已经答应不杀人了，不是吗？但那个许下承诺的人没有仆人。作出这个承诺的人是软弱的，他非常害怕自己，以至于他躲在一所学校里几十年，心甘情愿地把自己交给一个永远不会理解他的牺牲有多大的人。 "You call these 'sacrifice'?" Avery scoffs, motioning to the Death Eaters. "I'd say good riddance." “你们把这些叫做‘牺牲’?”艾弗里嘲笑道，指着食死徒说，“我觉得这是一个很好的解脱。” The insult brings the Death Eaters to their feet. It is hard to tell who shoots the first spell, but soon the two groups are exchanging curses. They appear to favour different styles. The Death Eaters' attacks are more aggressive and deadly, aiming to maim or kill. The unmasked versions of themselves opt to fight with their brains, piercing their opponents defences with well-placed curses. Neither side manages to gain the upper hand, but it is to be expected, isn't it? This is his dream, after all. The outcome of this battle is his to decide. 这种侮辱使食死徒站了起来。很难说是谁射出了第一个咒语，但很快这两个小组就互相咒骂起来。他们似乎喜欢不同的风格。食死徒的攻击更具攻击性和致命性，目的是致残或杀死。那些没有戴面具的自己选择用大脑进行战斗，用恰到好处的诅咒刺穿对手的防御。双方都没有占上风，但这是意料之中的，不是吗？毕竟这是他的梦想。这场战斗的结果由他来决定。 Two possibilities. Two realities. Which one is his? 两种可能，两个现实，哪个是他的？ This situation is supposed to be impossible. No one calls him 'professor' in the world where he became a dark lord. And in the world where he has stayed at Hogwarts to teach, he does not have any followers. But here he is, once again standing at the crossroad. 这种情况应该是不可能的。在他成为黑暗领主的世界里，没有人叫他“教授”。在他留在霍格沃茨教书的世界里，他没有任何追随者。但现在他又站在了十字路口。 "Crossroad? Come on, professor, don't tell me you're actually considering snake-face's path." “十字路口? 得了吧，教授，别告诉我你真的在考虑蛇脸的路线” "Get a grip, Tom. You are the one in control, not that monster." “冷静点，汤姆，你才是掌控一切的人，不是那个怪物” To destroy or to protect. To rise above the others or to hide among the mundane and restrain himself at every step. To conquer death and become a monster or to accept it and save his soul. 破坏或保护。凌驾于他人之上，或者隐藏在世俗之中，每一步都克制自己。征服死亡，变成怪物或者接受死亡，拯救他的灵魂。 But he has found another solution, hasn't he? There are two identical souls in this world, and as long as he stays here, he will not die. He doesn't have to be afraid of what is waiting for him after death. He doesn't have to hide his true nature. He doesn't have to keep on pretending. 但他找到了另一个解决办法，不是吗？这个世界上有两个完全相同的灵魂，只要他留在这里，他就不会死。他不必害怕死后等待着他的东西。他没必要隐藏自己的本性。他没必要一直假装。 "I think we all agree that raw power means nothing when you're barely human yourself." “我想我们都同意，当你自己都不是人的时候，原始的力量毫无意义。” "What's the appeal of all these destructions anyway? Building things are much more satisfying than destroying them, don't you think?" “所有这些破坏到底有什么吸引力? 建造东西比摧毁它们更令人满足，你不觉得吗?” "And we could really use a little help here, professor, if you don't mind?" “如果你不介意的话，教授，我们真的需要一点帮助” "Oh please, Crabbe, we can handle this." “哦，拜托，Crabbe，我们能处理好的。” "Well, Tom?" Lucius' impatient voice cuts over the incessant chatter. “怎么样，汤姆?”卢修斯不耐烦的声音打断了喋喋不休的谈话。 The earth gives another heave. Tom's mind is screaming for him to choose, to settle on a version of himself before this dream-like world crumbles under the strain of the conflicting memories. With his students bantering around him, the choice is surprisingly easy to make and he wonders what has taken him so long. 大地再次隆起。汤姆的大脑在呼唤他做出选择，在这个梦一般的世界在冲突的记忆压力下崩溃之前，选择一个自己的版本。当他的学生在他周围开玩笑的时候，这个选择出奇的容易，他想知道是什么让他花了这么长时间。 "Admit it, professor, you need us." “承认吧，教授，你需要我们” His glare is useless, as always. "Go on then, take care of them." 他的目光一如既往地毫无用处，“去吧，照顾好他们。” He stands back as his students fight. It is taking a while, but the winning side is clear now. Then again, this is just a dream. 当他的学生打架时，他向后退。这需要一段时间，但胜利的一方现在是明确的。话说回来，这只是个梦。 "Ah, but that doesn't make it any less real, does it?" “啊，但这并不会让它变得不真实，不是吗?” Tom glances sideway at Albus, who has appeared out of nowhere. "I take it this is what you were counting on when you put me in charge of Slytherin?" 汤姆斜眼瞥了一眼不知从哪儿冒出来的阿不思。“我想这就是你让我负责斯莱特林的原因吧?” The old wizard merely smiles. 老巫师只是微笑。 "What exactly is this place anyway? What is happening?" “这到底是什么地方? 发生了什么事?” Albus lets out a sigh, his smile dropping. "Nagini was a Horcrux. When she bit you, you came into direct contact with the piece of soul she carried. This is the result of the merge." 阿不思叹了口气，脸上的笑容消失了。纳吉尼是魂器。当她咬你的时候，你直接接触到了她所携带的灵魂。这是合并的结果。” "Merge," Tom repeats, not liking the sound of it at all. "I... absorbed a piece of Voldemort's soul, then?" “合并,”汤姆重复道，一点也不喜欢这个声音。“我... ... 吸收了伏地魔的一部分灵魂，然后呢?” Albus nods. "Your soul yearns to be complete and calls out to your counterpart's Horcruxes. That's why you were able to tell when one of them was destroyed and why your scar opened when you were near one - your soul was trying to absorb the other pieces." 阿不思点点头。“你的灵魂渴望完整，并呼唤你对手的魂器。这就是为什么你能够分辨出其中一块碎片是什么时候被毁掉的，也是为什么当你靠近其中一块碎片时，你的伤疤会裂开——你的灵魂正试图吸收其他碎片。” A sudden realisation dawns on Tom. "That's the reason I was able to sense the connections between our world and the others." 汤姆突然意识到。“这就是为什么我能够感觉到我们的世界与其他世界之间的联系。” "And the reason you decided to start this project on alternate worlds in the first place." Albus smiles. "It's funny how everything comes full circle, isn't it?" “也是你最初决定开始研究平行世界的原因”阿不思笑了。“有趣的是，一切都绕了个大圈，不是吗?” Tom is not in the mood to find anything funny, not when a piece of his counterpart's soul is inside him and he has just gained an additional set of memories. 汤姆没有心情去寻找任何有趣的东西，尤其是当他的对手的灵魂在他体内，而他刚刚获得了一套额外的记忆时。 "I don't suppose I can just reject it, can I?" “我不认为我可以拒绝它，是吗?” "Not unless you want to make a Horcrux, no." “除非你想制造魂器，否则不行” "As if I can make one even if I want to," he murmurs. “好像我想做也能做一样,”他低声说。 At least he isn't in any danger of losing control over Voldemort's memory anymore, he thinks as he watches his students stun the last of the Death Eaters and levitate them away. Already he can feel the foreign memories settling in a distant corner of his mind. 至少他不会再有失去对伏地魔记忆的控制的危险了，他看着他的学生把最后一个食死徒击晕，然后把他们飘走。他已经能够感觉到那些陌生的记忆停留在他脑海中一个遥远的角落。 "What now?" he asks. “现在怎么办?”他问。 "You have regained control and this place is no longer in danger of collapsing." Albus looks up at the sky, where the large crack is still present. "But as with all magic of this nature, merely wanting to be whole isn't enough." “你们已经重新获得了控制权，这个地方不再面临崩溃的危险。”阿不思仰望天空，那里仍然有一条大裂缝。“但是就像所有这种魔法一样，仅仅想要完整是不够的。” "I have to mean it." “我必须是认真的” Albus nods, looking him in the eyes. "Remorse, Tom." 阿不思点点头，看着他的眼睛。“悔恨，汤姆。” "Of course." Tom sighs. "And should I... fail? What then?" He would rather not be stuck in this place forever. “当然。”汤姆叹了口气。“那我... ... 会失败吗? 然后呢?”他宁愿不要永远困在这个地方。 "I'm afraid I only know as much as you do, my boy. But as always, I have faith in you." “恐怕我知道的和你一样多，我的孩子。但是一如既往，我对你有信心。” With that, Albus vanishes, along with the burning town and the body of the child. All that is left is the road Tom is on, illuminated by the faint glow of his wand. He starts forward, only to stop again when a tall stone wall rises from the ground, blocking his way. As he watches, a barred door appears. He recognises it at once; it is the door of his cell in Azkaban, the one he has spent seven years staring at. Behind the metal bars is a staircase, leading downwards to the darkness below. He takes a moment to steady himself, then pulls the door open and starts descending. 就这样，阿不思消失了，随之消失的还有燃烧的城镇和孩子的尸体。剩下的只有汤姆所走的路，被他的魔杖发出的微弱光芒照亮。他开始向前走，但是当一堵高高的石墙从地上升起，挡住了他的去路时，他又停了下来。就在他看着的时候，一扇有栅栏的门出现了。他一眼就认出来了，这是他在阿兹卡班的牢房门，他已经盯着这扇门看了七年。金属栏杆后面是一个楼梯，通向下面的黑暗。他花了一点时间稳住自己，然后拉开门，开始下降。
Chapter 23: Planning Ahead 第23章: 未雨绸缪 Severus staggered towards Hogwarts, still shaking from the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse. Even when he reached the entrance doors of the old castle, the Dark Lord's cold hissing voice was still echoing in his mind. 西弗勒斯摇摇晃晃地走向霍格沃茨，仍然因为钻心咒的后遗症而浑身发抖。甚至当他走到古堡的大门口时，黑魔王冰冷的嘶嘶声仍然在他的脑海中回响。 Draco Malfoy had somehow come to the realization that he couldn't possibly kill Dumbledore and had decided to bargain with the Dark Lord. Instead of bringing him Dumbledore's head, Draco would bring him Thomas Kray, who all Death Eaters had been told to capture on sight. 德拉科 · 马尔福不知怎么地意识到他不可能杀死邓布利多，于是决定与黑魔王讨价还价。德拉科没有把邓布利多的头带给他，而是把托马斯 · 克雷带给了他，所有食死徒都被告知一见到他就要抓住他。 Draco didn't know that this alternative mission was equally impossible, considering who Kray really was, but the Dark Lord was well aware that the boy would not be successful. Nonetheless the Dark Lord had agreed to Draco's bargain, knowing that Severus would be forced to complete the boy's task. No doubt Bellatrix had told the Dark Lord all about the Unbreakable Vow Severus had made during the summer. 德拉科不知道这个替代任务同样是不可能的，考虑到克雷的真实身份，但黑魔王很清楚这个男孩不会成功。尽管如此，黑魔王还是同意了德拉科的交易，因为他知道西弗勒斯将被迫完成这个男孩的任务。毫无疑问，贝拉特里克斯已经把西弗勒斯在夏天发下的牢不可破的誓言告诉了黑魔王。 "I have given young Malfoy a week into the coming school term to complete his new mission. If he fails, there will be consequences." There was a brief pause. "But we don't want that, do we, Severus?" “在即将到来的学期里，我给了年轻的马尔福一周时间来完成他的新使命。如果他失败了，后果自负。”有一个短暂的停顿。“但我们不想那样，对吧，西弗勒斯?” Now that he was away from the Dark Lord, the anger that he had suppressed in the meeting was coursing through him. That fool! How na?ve could that boy be? Bargaining with the Dark Lord? 现在他离开了黑魔王，他在会议中压抑的愤怒在他心中蔓延。那个傻瓜！那孩子怎么这么天真？和黑魔王讨价还价？ The Dark Lord had essentially threatened Severus, not Draco, with death should he fail to deliver Kray within the time limit. Was it simply an indication of the Dark Lord's desperation? Or was it a sign of the Dark Lord's suspicion over Severus' loyalty? After all, Severus was the one who had been ordered to capture Kray before Christmas and failed to complete the mission. He was also the one who told Dumbledore that Bellatrix had retrieved Hufflepuff's Cup from her vault. 黑魔王基本上是在威胁西弗勒斯，而不是德拉科，如果他不能在时限内交出克雷，他就会死。这只是黑魔王绝望的表现吗？还是黑魔王怀疑西弗勒斯的忠诚？毕竟，是西弗勒斯奉命在圣诞节前抓捕克雷，却没能完成任务。也是他告诉邓布利多贝拉特里克斯从她的金库里拿回了赫奇帕奇之杯。 Or was it something else? Something that made the Dark Lord believe Severus might not give his best to complete the mission? 还是别的什么？让黑魔王相信西弗勒斯不会尽全力完成任务？ Kray's voice drifted into Severus' mind, "I'm not from this world, and I certainly do not need a follower." 克雷的声音飘进西弗勒斯的脑海，“我不是这个世界的人，我当然也不需要一个追随者。” Severus pushed that thought away. There's no point distracting himself with what Kray had said. He had enough to deal with as it was. 西弗勒斯把这个想法推开了。没有必要用克雷说的话来分散自己的注意力。他已经有够多事要处理了。 He walked up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing, intending to check on Dumbledore before going back to his room, where he had stored some potions for the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse. 他走上楼梯，向医院走去，打算先看看邓布利多的情况，然后再回到自己的房间。 He should have known his long night was far from over. 他应该知道漫长的一夜还远远没有结束。 Entering the Hospital Wing, Severus found the last person he wanted to see lounging in a chair beside Dumbledore's bed. Kray waved his hand and the door shut behind Severus. 走进医院大楼，西弗勒斯发现他最不想看到的人躺在邓布利多床边的椅子上。克雷挥了挥手，门在西弗勒斯身后关上了。 "What did he want?" “他想要什么?” "What else could he have wanted, Riddle?" Severus snarled. “他还能要什么呢，里德尔?”西弗勒斯咆哮道。 "In a bad mood, aren't we?" Kray smirked. "How long did he put you under? Five minutes?" “我们心情不好，不是吗?”克雷得意地笑道。“他让你昏迷了多久? 五分钟?” Severus narrowed his eyes. "At least twenty," he gritted out. 西弗勒斯眯起眼睛。“至少二十个。”他咬紧牙关说。 For a brief moment Kray looked surprised. Then he took out something from his pocket and held it out. "Half a vial should be enough." 有那么一会儿，克雷看上去很惊讶。然后他从口袋里掏出一样东西，拿了出来。“半瓶就够了” Severus took the vial cautiously and examined the deep green potion inside. He uncorked the vial and sniffed at its contents. It was the pain reliever for the Cruciatus Curse. Severus was the one who invented it, and he had never shared the brewing instructions with anyone. 西弗勒斯小心翼翼地拿起药瓶，检查里面的深绿色药水。他打开瓶塞，闻了闻里面的东西。那是钻心咒的止痛药。这是西弗勒斯发明的，他从来没有和任何人分享过酿造指南。 "I see you recognize this potion," said Kray, eyeing Severus curiously. "A student of mine invented it seven years ago." “我看你认得这种药水,”克雷说，好奇地打量着西弗勒斯。“我的一个学生七年前发明的。” Severus invented it shortly after his graduation. "Who?" 西弗勒斯毕业后不久就发明了它。“谁?” "He was never born in this world," said Kray after a long pause. He motioned to the vial. "Drink it." “他从来没有出生在这个世界上,”克雷沉默了很长时间后说。他指了指药瓶。“喝了它。” It was a command and Severus found himself doing as Kray said. The cool liquid washed away most of his pain and relaxed his trembling muscles. It also left a bitter aftertaste that was annoyingly fitting to how he felt about his current situation. 这是一个命令，西弗勒斯发现自己照着克雷说的做了。凉爽的液体洗去了他大部分的疼痛，放松了他颤抖的肌肉。这也留下了一种苦涩的回味，与他对自己目前处境的感受相吻合，令人恼火。 Looking up, he saw Kray eyeing him with clear amusement. "How obedient," he said. "Albus and my counterpart have trained you well. Well enough to endure torture for failing a mission that you couldn't possibly complete without my cooperation." 他抬起头来，看见克雷用一种明显的好笑的目光看着他。“真听话,”他说。“阿不思和我的对手把你训练得很好。好到可以忍受没有我的合作，你不可能完成的任务的折磨 Years of dealing with Dumbledore and the Dark Lord helped Severus to control his annoyance and focus on the matter at hand. "You talk as if you've changed your mind." 多年来与邓布利多和黑魔王打交道，帮助西弗勒斯控制住了自己的烦恼，把注意力集中在手头的事情上。“你说得好像你改变主意了” "It's about time for the long overdue meeting, don't you agree, Severus?" “早该开会了，不是吗，西弗勒斯?” Severus was certain that Dumbledore would not agree, but it was his own life on the line. And while Severus had no wish to tell Kray about the Unbreakable Vow, he would rather not be killed for an unnecessary charade. 西弗勒斯确信邓布利多不会同意的，但这是他自己的生命危在旦夕。虽然西弗勒斯不想把牢不可破的誓言告诉克雷，但他也不想因为一个不必要的猜谜游戏而被杀。 "I assume you're still the one in charge of my… capture?" Kray continued. "How much longer has he given you?" “我想你还是负责我的... ... 抓捕行动的那个人吧?”克雷继续说道。“他还给了你多长时间?” "One week after school resumes." “开学一周后” Kray appeared to be deep in thought and Severus wondered what he was planning. 克雷似乎陷入了沉思，西弗勒斯不知道他在计划什么。 "I'm sure Albus will have come up with a plan by then." “我肯定阿不思到时候会想出一个计划的。” Caught off guard, Severus could only stare as the older wizard turned towards Dumbledore's bed. He could have sworn Kray was smirking. 西弗勒斯猝不及防，只能眼睁睁地看着老巫师转向邓布利多的床。他发誓 Kray 在偷笑。 "I have slowed down the curse," said Kray, steering the conversation away from the Dark Lord, "but the damage has been done." “我已经减缓了诅咒的速度,”克雷说，把话题从黑魔王身上引开，“但是伤害已经造成了。” Severus glanced at the unmoving figure on the bed. "How long?" 西弗勒斯瞥了一眼床上一动不动的身影。“多久了?” "Six months." “六个月” Before the end of the school year then. The weight of what he had to do when the time came sat heavily on Severus. Then again, if he failed to complete his latest mission for the Dark Lord, he wouldn't even live long enough to become Dumbledore's murderer. Suddenly Severus felt more tired than ever, though he made sure his face showed nothing. 那就在学年结束之前。时候到了，他必须做的事情沉重地压在西弗勒斯身上。不过话说回来，如果他没能完成黑魔王的最新任务，他甚至活不到杀死邓布利多的那一天。西弗勒斯突然感到前所未有的疲惫，尽管他确信自己的脸上没有任何表情。 "That is," Kray went on, "assuming the curse still remains unbroken." “也就是说,”克雷继续说，“假设诅咒仍然没有被打破。” Severus didn't bother challenging Kray. The man was as unyielding as the Dark Lord was when it came to achieving what was impossible. 西弗勒斯没有挑战克雷。在实现不可能的事情上，他和黑魔王一样不屈不挠。 "No words of discouragement, Severus? Perhaps my counterpart's torture has left its mark on you after all," drawled Kray. "I'll monitor Albus' condition. Leave and take a rest. I expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning. I intend to break this curse within the next four months." “没有气馁的话吗，西弗勒斯？也许我对手的折磨最终还是在你身上留下了印记,”克雷慢吞吞地说。我会监控阿不思的情况。走吧，休息一下。我希望明天早上在我办公室见到你。我打算在接下来的四个月内打破这个诅咒。” Severus glared into the pair of determined blue eyes, annoyed by the order and the casual tone the man used to dismiss him. First the Dark Lord, then Albus Dumbledore, and now there was this Dark Lord's double. 西弗勒斯怒视着那双坚定的蓝眼睛，对他的命令和那个男人用来解雇他的随意语气感到恼火。先是黑魔王然后是阿不思·邓不利多现在又出现了黑魔王的替身。 But as always, there was nothing he could do. With a quick glance at Dumbledore, he turned on his heel and strode away. 但一如既往，他无能为力。他匆匆瞥了邓布利多一眼，转身大步走开了。 Tom watched as the Potions Master walked out of the room. Snape was still being strangely obedient, but if he expected to find a new leader in Tom then he was sorely mistaken. 汤姆看着魔药大师走出房间。斯内普还是出奇地听话，但如果他指望在汤姆身上找到一个新的领袖，那他就大错特错了。 "So you've been working together to break the curse." “所以你们一直在合作打破诅咒” "Surprised, Albus?" Tom glanced at the old wizard as he slowly pushed himself to a sitting position. "You're supposed to be resting. Pomfrey will have my head if she knows I'm talking to you at this hour." “惊讶吗，阿不思?”汤姆看了一眼老巫师，他慢慢地把自己推到一个坐着的位置。你应该好好休息。如果庞弗雷知道我在这个时候跟你说话她会杀了我的” Albus smiled. "Nothing you can't handle, I'm sure." He propped up his pillow and leaned back, studying Tom. "Why Severus?" 阿不思笑了。“没什么是你处理不了的，我肯定。”他撑起枕头，向后靠着，打量着汤姆。“为什么是西弗勒斯?” "At first, merely for information gathering." “一开始，只是为了收集情报” "He impressed you." “他给你留下了深刻的印象” "Yes," Tom admitted. "His attitude left much to be desired, but he is skilled enough to handle what I've been teaching him." “是的,”汤姆承认。“他的态度还有很多不足之处，但他有足够的技巧来处理我教给他的东西。” Not that their meetings involved much teaching, but Snape had definitely been learning from their various debates. At the very least, the Potions Master should now be able to make sense of his newly acquired research notes, and hopefully do something useful with them. 并不是说他们的会议包含了太多的教学内容，而是斯内普肯定从他们的各种辩论中学到了很多东西。至少，魔药大师现在应该能够理解他新获得的研究笔记，并且希望能够用它们做一些有用的事情。 "Is that all?" asked Albus. “就这些吗?”阿不思问。 "What else do you expect?" “你还指望什么?” But loathe as Tom was to admit it, there was indeed another reason – the Severus Snape in this world reminded him of himself. Somehow, like Tom, the Potions Master had found himself living a life that was against what he really wanted. 尽管汤姆不愿意承认，但确实还有一个原因——这个世界上的西弗勒斯 · 斯内普让他想起了自己。不知何故，像汤姆一样，这位魔药大师发现自己过着一种与他真正想要的生活背道而驰的生活。 While Snape had changed his allegiance, he had not changed much at heart. He still looked up to Voldemort, probably not so much for the nonexistent leadership, but for the immense knowledge and power. His constant hunger for respect had not been squashed, but instead transformed into bitterness and an almost childish tendency to stress his authority in classrooms. He likely detested Albus' ideology, but that didn't matter as far as his loyalty was concerned. It didn't even matter what Snape himself wanted, because Snape's drive came from somewhere else entirely – Lily Evans. The impact of Evans' death had been powerful enough to push Snape onto a new path and bind him to it irrevocably. 虽然斯内普改变了他的忠诚，但他本质上并没有改变多少。他仍然崇拜伏地魔，也许不是因为那个不存在的领袖，而是因为他拥有巨大的知识和力量。他一直渴望得到尊重，但这种渴望并没有被压制，反而变成了怨恨和在课堂上强调自己权威的近乎幼稚的倾向。他可能厌恶阿不思的意识形态，但就他的忠诚而言，这并不重要。斯内普自己想要什么并不重要，因为斯内普的驱动力完全来自其他地方——莉莉 · 埃文斯。埃文斯死亡的影响已经强大到足以推动斯内普走上一条新的道路，并且不可逆转地把他束缚在这条道路上。 After living with a choice that went against his own desire for years, Snape's mask had slipped when he was presented with a third option – a leader who he had worked for, who understood what he wanted and who had nothing to do with the death of the woman he was obsessed with. Only that third option was nothing more than an illusion. In the end, one had to live with the choice one had made. 多年来，斯内普一直生活在一个与自己的愿望背道而驰的选择之中，但当他面对第三个选择时，他的面具就滑落了——一个他曾为之工作过的领导者，一个明白自己想要什么的领导者，一个与他所痴迷的女人的死毫无关系的领导者。只有第三种选择只是一种幻觉。最后，人们不得不接受自己做出的选择。 "While I am pleased to know that the two of you are getting along well, we need to discuss our next move," said Albus. "You're planning to meet Voldemort regardless of what I say, aren't you, Tom?" “虽然我很高兴知道你们两个相处得很好，但我们需要讨论我们的下一步行动,”阿不思说。“不管我说什么，你都要去见伏地魔，是吗，汤姆?” "Think of it this way, Albus: I'll be able to eliminate another Horcrux for you. Nagini is always by his side, as you well know." “这样想吧，阿不思: 我可以为你消灭另一个魂器。你很清楚，纳吉尼总是在他身边。” "But killing Nagini isn't what you're concerned about, is it, Tom?" “但你关心的不是杀死纳吉尼，对吗，汤姆?” Tom eyed the old wizard coldly. "I may have told you my past, but don't think that suddenly means you know all about me, Albus. I'm not about to be tempted," he sneered at that word. 汤姆冷冷地看着那个老巫师。“我可能告诉过你我的过去，但不要以为这样你就会知道我的一切，阿不思。我不会被诱惑的,”他对这个词嗤之以鼻。 "Voldemort is dangerous." 伏地魔很危险 "So am I," Tom countered. “我也是,”汤姆反驳道。 Albus eyed him for a long while then sighed. "Severus will go with you, and you will leave once you eliminate the last Horcrux." 阿不思盯着他看了很久，然后叹了口气。“西弗勒斯会和你一起去，一旦你消灭了最后一个魂器，你就会离开。” Tom raised an eyebrow. "Last? Isn't there another one walking around Hogwarts right now? Or have you finally sent him away to join his friends for Christmas?" 汤姆扬了扬眉毛。“最后一个？现在霍格沃茨不是还有一个吗？还是你终于把他送去和他的朋友们一起过圣诞节了?” Albus turned serious. "Tom –" 阿不思变得严肃起来。“汤姆——” "I have no wish to interfere in your plan regarding the boy, but I am curious. He seems to believe he actually stands a chance against Voldemort, and you've been encouraging this delusion of his without giving him any training." Tom tilted his head. "You are relying on Voldemort to kill him, aren't you?" ”我不想干涉你关于那个男孩的计划，但我很好奇。他似乎相信自己真的有机会对抗伏地魔，而你一直在鼓励他的这种错觉，却没有给他任何训练。”汤姆歪着头。“你指望伏地魔杀了他，是吗?” Albus closed his eyes for a long time then he nodded. "I should have told Harry the truth a long time ago, but I care too much about him," he whispered. "Perhaps it is better this way, for him to die fighting for what he believes in." 阿不思闭上眼睛良久，然后点了点头。“我早就应该告诉哈利真相了，但我太在乎他了,”他低声说。“也许这样更好，让他为自己的信仰而死” Instead of dying simply because he had to, thought Tom grimly, but wouldn't it be better for the boy to know that his death would actually amount to something? Then again, the boy was a Gryffindor. 汤姆冷酷地想，与其仅仅因为不得不死，不如让这个男孩知道他的死会有所意义，这不是更好吗？不过，那孩子是格兰芬多的学生。 "There is another matter, Tom," said Albus. "The war is coming to an end sooner than I expected, thanks to you, but for it to play out to its very end –" “还有一件事，汤姆,”阿不思说。“多亏了你，战争比我预想的要结束得早，但是要结束到最后...” "You need me to leave this world," Tom finished. “你需要我离开这个世界,”汤姆说完。 Since his soul was identical to Voldemort's, his presence had essentially created an effect similar to that of a Horcrux. And the same was true in the reverse direction, meaning neither of them could die as long as they co-existed in this world. With a start, Tom realized he had stumbled upon a way to achieve immortality without meaning to. He pushed this thought away and masked his excitement; he would have to look deeper into this theory. 因为他的灵魂和伏地魔的一模一样，他的存在本质上创造了一种类似于魂器的效果。反过来也是一样，意味着只要他们在这个世界上共存，他们都不会死。一开始，汤姆意识到他无意中发现了一种获得永生的方法。他把这个想法推到一边，掩盖了自己的兴奋; 他必须更深入地研究这个理论。 "Don't worry, Albus, when the time comes, I'll do what I have to." “别担心，阿不思，到时候我会做我该做的”
Chapter 24: Second Encounter 第二十四章: 第二次相遇 A scream tore through the empty hall when Tom was on his way to dinner. He turned back to the long corridor he had come from and broke into a run, rushing towards where the painful wail could still be heard. Whoever it was sounded very young. Tom pushed himself to run faster. 汤姆去吃晚饭的路上，空荡荡的大厅里突然传来一声尖叫。他转身回到从那条长长的走廊，突然跑了起来，冲向仍能听到痛苦哀号的地方。不管是谁，听起来都很年轻。汤姆强迫自己跑得更快。 A small figure came into view, standing over someone on the floor. Tom felt a sense of déjà vu. "Mr. Gibbon?" 一个矮小的身影出现在视野中，站在地板上的某个人旁边。汤姆有种似曾相识的感觉。“ Gibbon 先生?” The boy looked over his shoulder then fled towards the other end of the corridor. Tom let him go, knowing he coud easily track him down as long as he remained on Hogwarts grounds, and checked on the fallen student. Mark Williamson, the boy who had tried to curse Gibbon several weeks ago. He was shaking uncontrolably. His pupils were dilated and his skin was burning. There was blood on his robe and on the floor. 男孩回头看了看，然后向走廊的另一头跑去。汤姆让他走了，因为他知道只要他留在霍格沃茨，他就能轻易地找到他，并检查了那个倒下的学生。马克 · 威廉姆森，几周前试图诅咒吉本的那个男孩。他不停地颤抖。瞳孔放大，皮肤灼烧。他的长袍和地板上都有血迹。 "Pro... professor..." “教... 教授...” "It's all right, Mr. Williamson. You're safe." Tom gathered the trembling boy in his arms and stood back up. "I'm taking you to the hospital wing." “没关系，威廉姆森先生。你很安全”汤姆把颤抖的男孩抱在怀里，重新站了起来。“我带你去医院” The boy clung to him, sobbing quietly. "It... it hurts." 男孩紧紧地抱着他，轻轻地抽泣着。“好... ... 好痛。” "Do you know which curse he used on you?" asked Tom. “你知道他对你用了什么诅咒吗?”汤姆问。 "The one you showed us. On the first week." “你第一周给我们看的那个” The cruciatus curse, as Tom had feared. From one first year to another. Albus was going to have a fit when he heard of it. 十字架诅咒，正如汤姆所担心的那样。从一年级到另一年级。阿不思一听到这件事就要大发雷霆。 Tom brought the boy to the hospital wing and handed him to Madam Pomfrey, who alerted Albus and Minerva at once. Instead of waiting for them and their questions, Tom hurried off to track down the culprit. Hogwarts was already pointing him to the direction the wayward snake was escaping to. 汤姆把这个男孩带到医院的病房，把他交给庞弗雷夫人，庞弗雷夫人立刻通知了阿不思和密涅瓦。汤姆没有等他们和他们的问题，而是匆匆忙忙地去追捕罪犯。霍格沃茨已经给他指出了那条任性的蛇逃跑的方向。 The Forbidden Forest seemed to be encased in an impenetrable darkness. Tom could hardly see anything beyond a few feet and he was reluctant to feed the light of his wand for fear of attracting the nearby creatures. The footprints in the snow made tracking Gibbon ridiculously easy. Considering the boy was Slytherin, it was almost as if he wished to be found. Either that, or he was trying to lure Tom out of Hogwarts' protection. 禁林似乎被包裹在无法穿透的黑暗中。除了几英尺外，汤姆几乎什么也看不见，他不愿意用魔杖照明，因为害怕吸引附近的生物。雪地上的脚印让追踪吉本变得异常容易。考虑到这个男孩是 Slytherin，他似乎希望被找到。要么是这样，要么就是他想引诱汤姆脱离霍格沃茨的保护。 Could Gibbon be working for Voldemort? Very unlikely. But the boy had used an unforgivable on another student - a crime that could earn him a life sentence in Azkaban, unless - 吉本会不会是伏地魔的人？不太可能。但这个男孩对另一个学生使用了不可饶恕的手段——这种罪行可能会让他在阿兹卡班被判无期徒刑，除非—— Unless he was under the imperius curse, like Rosmerta had been. 除非他像罗斯默塔一样，受到了帝王的诅咒。 Tom paused at the edge of Hogwarts' anti-apparition ward and stepped over. Cursed or not, he needed to get the boy back to the castle. And if this turned out to be a trap... well, he was planning to pay his counterpart a little visit, anyway. 汤姆在霍格沃茨的幽灵病房边上停了下来，走了过去。不管是不是被诅咒了，他必须把那个男孩带回城堡。如果这是个陷阱的话... 他还是打算去拜访一下他的对手。 Gibbon had stopped a short distance beyond the boundary of the anti-apparition ward. The white light of his wand flickered shakily from left to right, then at Tom. 吉本阻止了一个反幽灵病房的短途境界的彼方。他的魔杖发出的白光摇摇晃晃地从左到右闪烁着，然后向汤姆射去。 "Professor!" The boy's eyes were filled with panic. "It wasn't me, I swear! It's... it's Malfoy. He... I heard his voice in my head and -" “教授!”男孩的眼里充满了恐慌。“不是我，我发誓！是马尔福。他... 我在脑海里听到了他的声音 Tom held up a hand to silence Gibbon. "Calm down. You were likely under the imperius curse. Come, let us -" 汤姆举手让吉本闭嘴。“冷静下来。你可能受到了帝王诅咒。来吧，让我们-” He stopped when he felt magic radiating from the boy - no, from the green and white scarf around his neck. Someone had turned it into a portkey - a portkey that would no doubt send the boy - alone and scared - straight to Voldemort. 当他感觉到从男孩身上散发出的魔力时，他停了下来——不，是从他脖子上的绿色和白色围巾上散发出来的。有人把它变成了一把门钥匙——毫无疑问，这把门钥匙会把这个孤独而又害怕的男孩直接送到伏地魔那里去。 So this was a trap, after all. 毕竟这是个陷阱。 Tom lunged forward. He dimly heard Gibbon's startled cry as the Forbidden Forest spiralled out of sight. 汤姆向前扑去，隐约听到吉本的惊呼声，因为禁林已经消失在他的视线之外。 When his vision cleared, he was still within a forest, though the air was warmer than before and the snow on the ground not as thick. A narrow path, almost obscured by the grass, lay before him. Without warning, his scar began to burn. Voldemort had arrived. 当他的视线变得清晰时，他还在一片森林里，尽管空气比以前暖和了，地上的雪也没那么厚了。他面前有一条几乎被草掩盖的狭窄小路。没有任何预兆，他的伤疤开始灼烧。伏地魔来了。 Tom took out his wand and turned to the boy behind him. Gibbon looked close to tears, but it was only natural. He placed a finger on his lips then lightly tapped the house crest on the boy's robe. Gibbon's eyes widened, then he nodded and took in a deep breath. When he looked back at Tom, the fear was still present in his eyes, though there was also alertness. Tom cast a disillusionment charm on him, trusting the young Slytherin to stay out of trouble despite what he was likely going to witness. 汤姆拿出魔杖，转向身后的男孩。吉本看起来几乎要哭了，但这是很自然的。他把一根手指放在嘴唇上，然后轻轻地敲了敲男孩长袍上的屋顶。吉本瞪大了眼睛，然后点点头，深吸了一口气。当他回头看汤姆的时候，他的眼睛里仍然有恐惧，尽管也有警觉。汤姆给他施了一个幻灭的魔法，相信年轻的斯莱特林不会惹麻烦，尽管他很可能会目睹这一切。 He had imagined this moment many times before. He had even anticipated it, but now he felt neither excitement nor trepidation, only a vague feeling that something in his life was shifting. The first time he felt this way was when he killed the rabbit in the orphanage, the second time was when he promised Albus not to kill again. He strode forward. There was no room for doubts or hesitations, not when it was his other-self who was waiting for him. 他以前多次想象过这一刻。他甚至已经预料到了，但是现在他既没有感到兴奋也没有感到害怕，只是有一种模糊的感觉，他的生活正在发生变化。他第一次有这种感觉是在孤儿院杀死兔子的时候，第二次是他答应阿不思不再杀人的时候。他大步向前走去。没有怀疑和犹豫的余地，尤其是当他的另一个自我在等待着他的时候。 A clearing came into view. It looked familiar. Knowing himself, this was likely the place they had met for the first time months ago. Voldemort stood in the middle of the clearing with Nagini hovering behind him in a protective bubble. Draco Malfoy stood before them. His face was pale, though his eyes were shinning in triumphant. 一片空地映入眼帘。看起来很眼熟。了解他自己，这可能是他们几个月前第一次见面的地方。伏地魔站在空地的中央，纳吉尼在他身后保护着他。德拉科 · 马尔福站在他们面前。他的脸色苍白，尽管他的眼睛闪烁着胜利的光芒。 "I see you managed to create a spell-activated portkey, Draco," said Tom, approaching the pair. "Not bad. Not bad at all." “我看到你设法创造了一个咒语激活的门钥匙，德拉科,”汤姆走近他们俩说。“不错。一点也不差。” Voldemort's eyes narrowed. "Leave us," he hissed, his eyes never leaving Tom. 伏地魔的眼睛眯了起来。“离开我们,”他嘶嘶地说，他的眼睛从来没有离开过汤姆。 Draco looked up in surprise, but wisely refrained from protesting, or asking for reward. 德拉科惊讶地抬起头，但很明智地没有抗议，也没有要求报酬。 "Yes, my Lord," he said with a barely noticeable bow, then reached into his pocket and disappeared in a bright white light. It seemed he had indeed learned quite a bit about portkeys in the past few weeks. “是的，大人,”他说着，微微鞠了一躬，然后把手伸进口袋，消失在一道明亮的白光中。在过去的几个星期里，他似乎确实学到了不少关于门锁的知识。 "Who are you?" hissed Voldemort. “你是谁?”伏地魔嘶嘶地问。 Tom met his counterpart's eyes and willed his body to get used to the searing pain in his chest. He would not allow it to distract him in the ensuring duel. 汤姆看着对方的眼睛，心想自己的身体要适应胸口的剧烈疼痛。他决不允许这件事分散他在决斗中的注意力。 "Shredding your soul has made you slow, I see," he drawled. “撕碎你的灵魂让你变慢了，我明白了,”他慢吞吞地说。 Crimson eyes widened in rage at the reminder of the destroyed Horcruxes. Voldemort trained his wand on Tom, who mirrored the action at once. Voldemort stared at the identical yew wands in disbelief, then his expressions turned thoughtful. 被摧毁的魂器提醒着，赤红色的眼睛因愤怒而睁大。伏地魔把魔杖对准了汤姆，汤姆立刻模仿了他的动作。伏地魔难以置信地盯着一模一样的紫杉魔杖，然后他的表情变得若有所思。 "Alternate worlds." “平行世界” Tom smirked. It seemed his counterpart's brain was still somewhat intact. 汤姆得意地笑了笑。看来他的对手的大脑还是有些完好无损的。 "It is supposed to be impossible." “这应该是不可能的。” "For most, so is immortality," countered Tom. “对大多数人来说，永生也是如此,”汤姆反驳道。 They fell into silence, appraising each other. 他们陷入沉默，互相评价。 "Why are you here?" asked Voldemort. “你为什么在这里?”伏地魔问。 "Nothing more than curiosity," admitted Tom. "I wasn't planning to get involved in your war." “只不过是好奇罢了,”汤姆承认，“我并不打算卷入你们的战争。” "And yet you have allowed Dumbledore to control you!" “但你还是让邓布利多控制了你!” "You should know better than to make such an outrageous assumption," said Tom. "Whatever happened was caused by your own carelessness." “你应该知道不能做出这样离谱的假设,”汤姆说。“不管发生了什么，都是你自己的疏忽造成的” He dodged Voldemort's cruciatus curse and retaliated with a blasting curse. Voldemort blocked it, his eyes gleaming with predatory anticipation. There was a brief pause, then they both started exchanging spells in close range. The intensity with which Voldemort fought surprised Tom, as was the sheer power behind his curses. This, he realized, was why his counterpart managed stay in power despite his many mistakes. 他躲过了伏地魔的十字架诅咒，并用一个爆裂诅咒作为报复。伏地魔挡住了它，他的眼睛闪烁着掠食者的期待。短暂的停顿之后，他们开始近距离交换咒语。伏地魔战斗的激烈程度令汤姆感到惊讶，他的诅咒背后的力量也是如此。他意识到，这就是为什么他的对手尽管犯了许多错误仍然能够掌权的原因。 They fought evenly for a while, then Voldemort began to increase his speed, forcing Tom to do the same. Not used to such an intensive battle, Tom could feel himself tiring out. The pain in his chest was still building up and he was starting to have trouble breathing. This was bad. 他们势均力敌地战斗了一会儿，然后伏地魔开始加快速度，迫使汤姆也这样做。汤姆不习惯这样激烈的战斗，他感到很累。他胸口的疼痛还在加剧，他开始出现呼吸困难。太糟糕了。 Two curses from Voldemort forced Tom to dive to the ground, then he rolled out of the way as a killing curse shot towards him. Unexpected fear gripped him at the sight of the deadly green light. He shook it off and pushed himself to his feet, sending off a cutting curse at the same time. Voldemort sidestepped it and Tom waved his wand again. The red beam changed direction and shot back towards Voldemort, who realized what was happening at the last second and managed to dodge. The curse changed direction again, homing in towards the Dark Lord, who narrowed his eyes and blocked it with magic. 伏地魔的两个诅咒迫使汤姆扑倒在地，然后他滚开了，一个致命的诅咒向他射来。看到那致命的绿光，他感到意外的恐惧。他挣脱了，把自己从地上推了起来，同时发出了一个切割诅咒。伏地魔避开了它，汤姆又挥动了他的魔杖。红色的光束改变了方向，向伏地魔反射而去，伏地魔在最后一秒意识到发生了什么，设法躲开了。诅咒再次改变方向，向黑魔王逼近，黑魔王眯起眼睛，用魔法挡住了诅咒。 "So this is the trick I kept hearing about," he said. "Has Dumbeldore deluded you so that you believe you can defeat me with such pathetic skills?" “所以这就是我一直听说的把戏,”他说。“是不是邓布利多欺骗了你，让你相信你能用如此可悲的技巧打败我?” He sent off a cutting curse, the same curse he had just blocked, though while Tom's was a bright crimson, his was almost golden and the power radiating off it was unbelievable. Tom knew he should dodge the curse, but he found himself erecting a shield instead, fighting his counterpart's power head on. His hand shook under the force of the curse and cold rage swirled inside him. It was not enough. When it came to raw power, his was no match for his counterpart's and his shield was close to shattering. He willed himself to stay calm. He could not lose control, not in a duel like this. 他发出了一个切割诅咒，就是他刚才阻止的那个，虽然汤姆的诅咒是鲜红色的，但他的诅咒几乎是金色的，散发出的力量令人难以置信。汤姆知道自己应该躲开诅咒，但他发现自己正在竖起一面盾牌，与对方的力量正面对抗。他的手在诅咒的力量下颤抖，冰冷的愤怒在他心中翻滚。这还不够。当谈到原始力量时，他不是对手的对手，他的盾牌几乎要破碎了。他强迫自己保持冷静。在这样的决斗中，他不能失去控制。 But what if it was the only way to win? Voldemort had no control. He never had to restrain himself. He never had to deny himself. 但如果这是赢的唯一方法呢？伏地魔无法控制。他从不需要克制自己。他从不需要否认自己。 "You are weak," hissed Voldemort. “你太弱了,”伏地魔嘶嘶地说。 Tom's shield shattered. He dived sideway, narrowly managing to dodge it. He would never win this way. He needed more power, power that he knew he possessed. He recalled the time when he let loose his restraint in the Room of Requirement. He needed to do it again, to – 汤姆的盾牌碎了。他侧身跳水，勉强躲过一劫。这样他永远赢不了。他需要更多的力量，他知道他拥有的力量。他回忆起他在万能屋里放开束缚的时光。他需要再来一次 The image of a scared little boy flashed before his eyes and Tom was suddenly reminded of the fact that one of his students was watching. Gibbon. The little fool. 一个受惊的小男孩的形象在他眼前闪过，汤姆突然想起他的一个学生正在看着他。Gibbon.小傻瓜。 "That's all right, sir. I trust you." “没关系，先生，我相信你” The next moment Tom was falling backward, his wand flying out of his grip. Before he could summon it back to himself, Voldemort stepped on it. The wand broke with a sickening crack. 下一刻，汤姆向后倒去，魔杖飞出了他的手掌。还没等他把它召唤回来，伏地魔就把它踩死了。魔杖啪的一声断了。 "Pathetic," he said, aiming his wand at Tom's forehead. "Do you see now? In the end it is I who emerge victorious. I am curious, however. What made the difference?" “真可悲,”他说，用魔杖指着汤姆的额头。你现在明白了吗？最后胜利者是我。但我很好奇。有什么区别呢?” With their magic being identical to each other, any defence was useless and there was nothing Tom could do as the invading presence forced itself into his mind. The memories of the orphanage came first, then his years at Hogwarts. 由于他们的魔法相同，任何防御都是无用的，汤姆也无能为力，因为入侵的存在强行进入他的脑海。孤儿院的记忆首先出现，然后是他在霍格沃茨的那些年。 He was standing at the top of the Astronomy Tower with Albus. The sky was dark. A half-moon was shimmering in and out sight in the fog above the forbidden forest. 他和阿不思站在天文塔的顶端。天空一片漆黑。一轮半月在禁林上方的雾中时隐时现。 "I don't feel sorry for what I've done, I don't think I ever will," he said, "but I promise you I will never kill again. I promise you I will never allow myself to become a monster." “我不为我所做的感到抱歉，我认为我永远不会,”他说，“但我向你保证，我再也不会杀人了。”。我向你保证，我永远不会让自己变成一个怪物” Tom tried to fight back, but he could barely muster any strength. 汤姆试图反抗，但他几乎没有力气。 He pushed himself to the corner of his cell, cowering away from the dementorx. They wouldn't leave. The coldness was unbearable. Then the world faded away as his worst nightmare came alive. 他把自己推到牢房的角落里，躲避着摄魂怪。他们不肯走。寒冷无法忍受。随着他最可怕的噩梦成真，世界逐渐消失了。 Someone was screaming. The invading presence pushed deeper. 有人在尖叫，入侵者越来越深。 He whimpered under the bench, wishing for the pain to stop, but his maimed body wouldn't move. He screamed, but no one would listen. 他在长凳下呜咽着，希望疼痛能够停止，但是他残废的身体却动弹不得。他尖叫，但没人听。 More memories were forced to the surface. Him in a small room with his wand pointed at Albus, blaming the old man for all that he had gone through. Him standing in front of a class of scared first years. A Ravenclaw raised her hand and asked why he had been sent to Azkaban. More faces followed, most of them his Slytherins. 更多的记忆被迫浮出水面。他在一个小房间里，用魔杖指着阿不思，把他所经历的一切都归咎于那个老人。他站在一群吓坏了的新生面前。一个拉文克劳人举起手问他为什么被送到阿兹卡班。更多的面孔接踵而至，其中大部分是他的斯莱特林学生。 "You are nothing but a complete failure." “你就是个彻头彻尾的失败者” Voldemort's voice seemed to come from afar, but then invading presence started to withdraw. Acting purely on instinct, Tom gripped onto the fading presence. Same wand. Same magic. He could make this work. 伏地魔的声音似乎是从远处传来的，但随后侵略者开始撤退。纯粹出于本能，汤姆紧紧抓住那逐渐消失的影子。一样的魔杖。一样的魔法。他能成功的。 Voldemort raised his wand and said the two words that had plagued Tom's nightmares for years, "Avada kedavra!" 伏地魔举起魔杖，说出了困扰汤姆多年的噩梦的两个字: “阿瓦达索命!” Tom concentrated and tightened his hold on the thread that connected him to his counterpart, gaining control. The green beam paused in mid-air, then shot back towards it caster. Voldemort growled and waved his wand, causing the curse to freeze again, hovering between the two of them. 汤姆把注意力集中在连接他和对方的那根线上，紧紧抓住，获得了控制权。绿色的光束在半空中停了下来，然后向施法者射去。伏地魔咆哮着挥舞着魔杖，诅咒再次凝固，悬浮在他们两人之间。 Then something shot up from the ground and a sharp pain erupted from Tom's forearm. Nagini withdrew her fangs almost at once, as if horrified that she had attacked one version of her master in order to defend another, but the damage had been done. Tom gritted his teeth against the pain in forearm while trying to maintain his concentration. He knew it was not the venom. Nagini's venom wouldn't cause pain. No, something else was - 接着，有什么东西从地上窜了出来，汤姆的前臂一阵剧痛。纳吉尼几乎立刻收回了她的獠牙，似乎很害怕她为了保护另一个版本的主人而攻击另一个版本的主人，但是伤害已经造成了。汤姆咬紧牙关抵抗前臂的疼痛，同时努力保持注意力集中。他知道那不是毒液。纳吉尼的毒液不会引起疼痛。不，还有一件事.. The burning pain spread, traveling up Tom's arm to his chest. For a moment he felt as if his scar was being ripped open and something cold was being forced into the old wound. He heard himself screaming. Memories that weren't his flooded into his mind, then unconsciousness claimed him. 灼热的疼痛蔓延开来，沿着汤姆的胳膊蔓延到胸口。有那么一会儿，他觉得自己的伤疤好像被撕开了，旧伤口里被塞进了什么冰冷的东西。他听到自己在尖叫。不属于他的记忆涌入他的脑海，然后失去意识。
明知是个深坑 我还是来了 啊真好看
卧槽，牛逼。 熬夜看完了，作者真的对汤姆里德尔的人设把控的很到位，或许每个人都会对这个角色有不同的见解，但在作者的角度，文中的汤姆里德尔和伏地魔都塑造的十分成功。 在不同的世界里，让我看到了汤姆的另一个可能，如果在一开始在他更早的时候，在他还愿意展露自己内心的时候，就有人站在他身旁，引导他。 或许汤姆里德尔会成为完全不同的一个人吧。
看完了，震惊了，空虚了。呜呜呜呜还有类似的文推荐吗！！还想去找找！！！！
牛，可以说把汤姆里德尔这个人的心理剖析得非常到位了，而能写出他真面目的作品实在是少之又少
这个原作者后来还更了几章，但是后来也坑了…后面讲的是汤气愤之下烧了冠冕魂器，和伏地魔还是见面了，并且打了一架，汤被纳吉尼咬了之后正在融合纳吉尼里的那片灵魂。要完全融合就要忏悔。
阿不思把他和格林德沃的都讲述给汤姆，汤姆却只是觉得多了个利用之处，可真是一点都不OOC啊